


Chip Tooth Smile

by froxyn



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:56:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 26,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22219663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froxyn/pseuds/froxyn
Summary: 1 - Special thanks to A for going through this project with me2 - This fic is inspired by Chip Tooth Smile by Rob Thomas.  This is not a typical songfic.3 - While definitely not required, should you be interested in listening to the song that inspired each chapter...that's a good thing (Lyrics / Listen)
Relationships: Rupert Giles/Buffy Summers
Comments: 45
Kudos: 60





	1. One Less Day (Dying Young)

**Author's Note:**

> 1 - Special thanks to A for going through this project with me  
> 2 - This fic is inspired by Chip Tooth Smile by Rob Thomas. This is not a typical songfic.  
> 3 - While definitely not required, should you be interested in listening to the song that inspired each chapter...that's a good thing ([Lyrics / Listen](http://www.froxyn.com/fics/album/chip/chip%20tooth%20smile.htm))

Title: Chip Tooth Smile  
Author: Froxyn  
Rating: FRAO Overall/FRT This chapter  
Pairing: Buffy/Giles  
Timeline: AU, one year post-series...no Dawn, Anya survived Sunnydale.  
Synopsis: A year after Sunnydale, there are quite a few changes in the Scoobies' lives. There are more changes to come.

It had been a year since the implosion of Sunnydale. 

Giles had returned to England two weeks later. He had taken the new Slayers with him. While most of the Council members had perished in the attack by Caleb, there were a few survivors – and everyone was going to be needed…and they were going to need more Watchers. Giles had decided to take on that task, intent on rebuilding the Council. However, he had the knowledge to improve what the Council had been – and that was his plan. 

Willow had gone with him, returning to the Coven that had helped her a few years earlier. A few months later, she moved to the new Council building that Giles had had built in the English countryside. She had questioned him about the location and he had simply replied that he didn’t care for the city any longer. She joined the Council as a Coven liaison and was excelling in her new position.

Xander and Anya had taken a few months to themselves. They hadn’t said where they went, but when they arrived in England 6 months after everyone else…they were a much stronger couple. Giles had held two positions open for them, in hopes that they would join them. It hadn’t taken much convincing. After all, what else were they going to do? Xander was now in charge of construction, which had turned out to be a massive job considering the span of rebuild/build that was going on. Anya was leading the demonology department. At first, she had complained…saying that it was only because she was a former demon. It wasn’t until Giles had explained that he was offering her the position based on her actual knowledge of demons that she had smiled and accepted the role.

Buffy had followed Giles to England a few weeks later. She had needed time to work through her feelings concerning the rift between her and Giles – and she needed to decide if she even _wanted_ to work through those feelings. She had been so angry with him and was having trouble seeing a future relationship with him. However, once they were apart, she understood the reasonings behind his actions. In an even more interesting twist, she agreed with them. She knew that she could help Giles with the Council rebuild and felt that was her new calling…there were so many new Slayers who would benefit from what she and Giles could offer. And so, three weeks after Giles had landed at Heathrow, she called him…to see if he would consider picking her up from the very same airport the following day. 

He answered ‘yes’ with no hesitation…and when she made her way through customs, she found him easily in the large crowd of people waiting on their loved ones. She walked up to him and he smiled, pulling her into a hug before taking her bag. That hug was their new beginning. 

Tonight was the one year anniversary of the implosion. They had all gathered at Buffy’s flat…drinks, dinner, conversation…memories.

Giles listened intently to the conversation currently taking place, smiling softly as he nursed his drink.

“What do you mean you’re not worried about getting older?” Anya asked, obviously thoroughly confused.

“Everything I’ve been through? I get one day older, that’s one day less from dying young. For years, my goal was to make it to 22. I hit that. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.” Buffy replied with a smile. “Died a couple of times along the way, but hey…here I am.”

Giles’ smile faded and he lowered his eyes, staring at the label on his beer bottle. The memory of her death still haunted him and probably always would. 

Xander noticed the change in Giles and quickly tried to steer the conversation in another way. “Yeah, getting older…good, definitely of the good. But, what about past mistakes? Like, if you could go back…knowing what you know now, would you do things the same or would you mix it up?”

Buffy thought about that for a long moment and then smiled. “You know, I think I’d do everything exactly the same. Every single one of my choices…wins and losses…have made me who I am today. I like who I am today…even if it was stupid fucking hard getting here.”

Giles chuckled and took a long sip from his beer. 

“You wouldn’t change _anything_? Really?” Anya asked, sliding her arm through Xander’s and resting her head on his shoulder. “There’s not _one_ thing you would change from the train wreck that your life has been?”

They all stared at Anya.

Anya rolled her eyes. “For fuck’s sake, seriously? Everyone in here knows what a ride we’ve all been on…Slayer Express, first stop – oh wait, derailment…”

Buffy shook her head, but smiled. She glanced at Giles and took a deep breath when he looked at her. “There’s probably one thing I actually would change…”

“What’s that?” Willow asked, cutting off a piece of cheese and popping it into her mouth.

Buffy blushed lightly and broke the gaze she was holding with Giles. Giles lowered his eyes and lightly pulled at the label on his bottle.

“All the fighting with Giles.” Buffy answered quietly. “Bad shit happened whenever we were…at odds.”

Giles snorted a laugh. “ _At odds_ …now _that_ is an interesting term to use to describe our issues.”

“Well, I never hated you. But, we were at odds a few times.” She waited until she had his complete attention and then gave him a smile. “I always hated not having you with me.”

He was sure that he saw something flicker in her eyes, but dismissed it quickly. He cleared his throat and nodded in agreement. “Yes, as did I. Things seemed very much out of balance when we were…at odds.”

Xander and Willow cast a quick glance at one another. 

“What about you, Giles?” Anya asked, grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl in Xander’s lap.

“What about me?” He asked, furrowing his brow.

“Do you worry about getting older?”

“No.”

The other four darted their eyes amongst themselves for a moment before Xander spoke.

“You know, I’ve gotta say…for someone who used an obscene amount of words to tell me to go to class, a one-word answer was _not_ what I was expecting…”

Giles sighed heavily. “I’ve watched a lot of people die in my lifetime. More than once, I was sure that I wouldn’t make it out of whatever predicament I’d gotten myself into. But, somehow…against all odds…it always worked out. Maybe it didn’t work out as I had hoped it would, but it worked out nonetheless. So now I’m happy to have a drink and spend an evening with those I love. One day will be my last day, but that might not be tonight.”

Willow smiled. Xander gave him a salute with his beer bottle. Anya stared at him quizzically. Buffy nodded slowly, her smile showing in her eyes.

“Decent answer, Giles.” She said softly.

“Thank you.” He replied, holding her gaze for a moment before reaching over and grabbing three Jaffa Cakes from the plate on the coffee table. 

He wasn’t exactly sure what to think at the moment. He and Buffy had been spending a fair amount of time together in recent months. Sometimes they were training, but more often than not they were doing this…sitting with a drink and just talking. It had felt amazing to be able to reconnect with her…or _connect_ with her, he corrected himself. They had connected in a way that they never had before in Sunnydale. In Sunnydale, they’d been close, they had bonded well – as all good Watcher/Slayer partnerships had in the past, they had trusted one another, they had become true friends. 

But it was different now, here in his homeland. 

She didn’t seem as restless here. Perhaps that was due to the fact that there wasn’t a Hellmouth here. But, in one of their late night conversations over tea, she had told him that she had tired of running, fighting, and hunting. She’d still do it when needed, because that was a part of her that would always remain. But, she wanted to have a proper life…a _real_ life…with a real relationship one day. She was tired of the dichotomy of her existence. 

He grinned at the memory. Those had been her words. ‘I’m tired of the dichotomy of my existence, Giles. I just want to be…me.’ And then she had paused, narrowed her eyes, and stared at him. And then playfully blamed him for her uttering the phrase ‘dichotomy of my existence’. 

He had taken it as a compliment, which made her roll her eyes in the way that seemed to make his heart skip a beat these days. He knew what that meant…he’d been around long enough to recognize the beginnings of feelings that were becoming…more. More than what they should be, considering who they were and what they had been through…and what was still left to do before they could both step down.

While they were getting along much better these days – and he could only remember one actual argument since her arrival in England – he could feel that boundaries were becoming blurred, lines being tiptoed over briefly. Their lives, their relationship in whichever form it was at the time, had never been simple – but he could sense the complications bounding towards him. And he wasn’t sure how to avoid them.

Furthermore, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to avoid them. This time. 

He’d been avoiding them for years. They’d come and gone, off and on throughout the years. They’d mostly come at the most inopportune times – when she was seeing Riley, when she had emotionally asked for him to train her again, when he was fairly certain he was going to die in an abandoned petrol station, when he’d watched her die, when he saw her for the first time upon her resurrection…

He was sure he could come up with more moments, but he purposely stopped himself. 

There was no apocalypse looming at the moment, no Hellmouth needing to be closed in their vicinity…nothing that could help him divert the complications barreling towards him at an unnervingly high rate of speed. That concerned him. Those complications could very well be – 

“Giles?”

Giles looked up quickly, somewhat surprised to find four people staring at him in concern. He cleared his throat and focused on Buffy.

“Yes?”

“You okay?” She asked softly, reaching over and placing her hand on his knee. “You, uh…kinda went away there for a bit…”

“Went away?” He asked, covering her hand with his as he leaned forward and put his empty beer bottle on the coffee table. “What do you mean?”

“You just looked like you were having some really deep thoughts…and you weren’t very responsive…”

“She means you zoned out and wouldn’t answer us when we were saying your name.” Anya clarified. “It was weird. You haven’t done that in a long time.”

A smile pulled at the corner of Giles’ mouth and he rubbed the back of his neck. “My apologies. Just old memories…I’m here now.”

That seemed to ease their concern and after a while conversation was flowing again. Xander, Willow, and Anya were busy talking amongst themselves about the time they had followed a Ghandish demon into the cemetery. Buffy moved over to sit next to Giles, gently nudging him as she sat down. 

“You sure you’re okay?” She asked quietly.

He nodded slowly and offered her a warm smile. “I’m fine, Buffy. Really, just old memories.”

She looked into his eyes for a moment and then exhaled deeply. “One day you’re going to tell me.”

“Tell you what?” He asked, wondering what exactly she had seen in his eyes.

She gave him a wink and gestured towards his empty beer bottle. “Want another?”

He shook his head, the fact that she had ignored his question was not lost on him. “No, I’ll need to be leaving in the next hour or so…”

“I’ll make some tea, then.” 

He watched her get up and walk towards the kitchen. After a few seconds, he stood up and followed her. She turned to look at him when he walked into the kitchen.

“What’s up?”

He tilted his head slightly as he looked at her. “One day I’m going to tell you what?”

“What’s really going through your head.” She smiled as he narrowed his eyes slightly. “You were having some _serious_ thoughts in there, Giles. That wasn’t just ‘old memories’. You don’t drift away following old memories.”

“Buffy…”

“It’s okay. I’m not going to hound you about it. But, one day…you’ll tell me. At least, I hope you do – because I think you kinda need to get it out instead of keeping things all bottled up. It’s not good for you…and we’re not getting any younger.”

He chuckled softly and nodded in agreement, moving around her to pull five mugs down from the cupboard.


	2. Timeless

Giles absently tapped his fingers against the steering wheel in time with the drumbeat of the song currently playing on the radio. His fingers might have been reacting to the song, but Giles’ mind was racing. He was nearly halfway home, but he wasn’t sure he should have left to begin with. He was certain that he had seen something in her eyes as he said goodnight, felt something when their hug lingered a bit longer than usual. 

He had dismissed it…as he had numerous times before. But, something felt different about it tonight. Maybe because of the earlier discussions…maybe because it was the anniversary…he wasn’t sure, but there had definitely been a shift of some sort. He should have asked her about it, but he didn’t…and he was ninety-five percent sure that was a mistake.

“Bloody hell…” He murmured to himself. “If you don’t talk to her now, you’re never going to…”

At the next roundabout, he took a deep breath and followed it around…heading back in the same direction he had just come from. 

* * * 

After sitting in his car for nearly ten minutes, he closed his eyes and unbuckled his seat belt. There was a time when she would be patrolling at this hour, but times had changed in the last year. He knew she was home, he could feel her…his ‘spidey-sense’, as she called it, was still quite active where she was concerned. 

He slowly made his way back to her flat and lifted his hand to knock on her door. He hesitated for a brief second before allowing his knuckles to rap against her door three times. He removed his glasses and slid them into his inner jacket pocket and cleared his throat as the door opened.

“Hey…what’s – ”

He took a step towards her, simultaneously sliding his left hand to her cheek and capturing her lips with his. It was a brief kiss, but full of intent. He pulled back, allowing his hand to slide to her shoulder as he looked into her eyes. 

She stared at him and took a shaky breath. His hand dropped from her shoulder and he was beginning to think that he’d made a huge mistake. As he started to take a step back, she reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt.

“You kinda caught me off-guard there, Giles. Let’s try that again, what do you say?”

He smiled and leaned down, capturing her lips once more. A groan rumbled in his chest as her tongue found its way into his mouth. He stepped forward, she stepped back…moving them into her flat. Neither of them broke the kiss as he pushed the door closed. He grunted softly as she pushed him against the closed door and began tugging his shirt out of his jeans. When her hands slipped under his shirt and touched his skin, he pulled from the kiss and inhaled sharply.

She grinned at him, sliding her hands up to his chest. “Why did you leave?”

“I…wasn’t sure this is what you wanted.”

She moved her hands back down his ribs, chuckling as he squirmed. She hadn’t forgotten he was ticklish.

“Why did you come back?”

“To see if this is what you wanted.” He replied, gently tucking her hair back behind her ears. 

“Don’t you want _me_?” She asked softly, settling her hands on his waist as she leaned into him.

“Fairly obvious I do, isn’t it? Considering I came back…considering I kissed you.” He closed his eyes as she pushed his shirt up, pressing kisses against his skin. “I didn’t come back for sex, Buffy. I came back to talk. Saying that…if you’re not wanting this to go further right now, I beg of you…please stop what you’re doing.”

She looked up at him, flicked her tongue against his nipple, and gently lowered his shirt. “Pretty sure you could turn me inside out…”

He inhaled deeply, trying to maintain some level of control. He said nothing, just merely stared at her…waiting to see, hear what was coming next.

“I think I want to find out for sure if you can. What do you say?”

And just like that, his control was lost. 

His hands gripped her hips as his mouth latched onto the side of her neck. His teeth grazed her skin as he suckled her flesh, causing her knees to buckle. His grip tightened, holding her up as he moved his mouth steadily down her neck towards her collarbone. He nipped at her lightly through her shirt, smiling inwardly as she whispered his name gruffly. 

Suddenly, she pushed away from him and stared at him. Then, with a trembling hand, she took hold of his hand and turned towards the hallway.

“Wait…what are we doing?” 

She smiled at his gentle question and paused, turning back to look at him. “Going to the bedroom. That’s where this is heading, right? Sex?”

“This is what you want?” He asked, closing the gap between them. “You want to sleep with me?”

“Why are you questioning this so hard? I thought I made it pretty clear a few minutes ago…”

“Everything we’ve been through over the years…” He started, lifting his free hand to caress her cheek. “We’ve been through some heavy shit…”

“And now it’s lighter…and you’ve been thinking about this for a while now, haven’t you?”

He tilted his head slightly as he looked at her. “Why would you think that?”

“You don’t kiss someone like you kissed me if you haven’t been thinking about it.”

His eyes darted to her lips. “You kissed me the same.”

“Yeah. And I’ve been thinking about this for a while now.” She took a step towards the hall and gently tugged his hand. “Coming?”

He nodded slowly and allowed her to lead him down the hallway and into her bedroom. She smiled at him as he closed the door.

“No one is going to walk in on us, Giles.”

He chuckled softly and made his way to her, shedding his shirt on the way. Her eyes found the large circular scar on his abdomen and she reached out, carefully touching it with her fingertips.

“Almost lost you that day.” She whispered.

“But, you didn’t.” He replied, unbuttoning the blouse she was wearing. Inhaling sharply as he parted the material, sliding his hands over the swell of her breasts. “Lovely…”

She laughed softly as he gently pushed her onto the bed. “Giles…”

“Hm?” He murmured, nudging her towards the middle of the mattress as he knelt between her thighs and leaned over her. “I don’t want to talk about the past right now, Buffy. I just…”

He paused as his eyes moved over her body, his fingers pulling the button free on her jeans. He smiled as Buffy quickly unbuckled his belt before working on the button and zipper of his jeans.

“You just…what?” She asked, slipping her hands underneath the waistband of his boxers…pushing them down over his hips.

A soft, guttural sound escaped his throat as she wrapped her hand around his erection. “I just want to be inside of you.”

“Then, we need to do something about this…don’t we?” She asked with a grin, gesturing with her free hand towards their jeans.

He nodded, gently pulling her hand away from his cock as he moved off the bed. He stared into her eyes as he kicked off his shoes before pushing his jeans and boxers down, stepping out of them before removing his socks. He stood before her, completely bare…and felt a sense of pride as he watched her eyes darken as they roamed over his body. 

He shook his head as she started to unzip her jeans, moving back to her quickly and brushing her hand away. “Let me…”

Without another word, he unzipped her jeans…pulling them down along with her underwear. He smiled as she lifted her hips in an effort to help him. As he dropped the garments to the floor, he looked at her…lying across the bed, wearing only an open blouse and a very lovely light purple satin bra. 

“Giles?”

He met her eyes and inhaled deeply. “You’re lovely.”

She smiled at his whispered statement and then widened her eyes in surprise as he grabbed her ankles, gently pulling her to the edge of the bed. “Giles!”

He chuckled, kneeling beside the bed between her thighs. He pressed a soft kiss to her inner thigh as she draped her legs over his shoulders. With another quick glance up at her, he parted her lower lips with his thumbs and slowly ran the tip of his tongue through her wet folds. 

She gasped and reached down, touching his hair with her fingers. He repeated the action, circling her clitoris but not actually touching it. He felt her heels press against his back, urging him on. He gently pushed his tongue inside of her, relishing the sensation of her fingers tightening in his hair. As he pulled out, he looked up at her…surprised to see her gazing down at him. Flattening his tongue, he dragged it over her flesh until he reached her clitoris. He held her gaze as he finally allowed his tongue to touch the sensitive bundle of nerves.

He smiled inwardly as she cried out, letting her head fall back against the mattress. He slipped the middle finger of his left hand into her as he expertly licked and sucked at her clit. When her hips lifted off the bed, he added his index finger…gently stroking her inner walls as his mouth continued its gentle assault on her flesh. 

“Jesus Christ…Giles...” She panted, the fingers of her right hand scratching at his scalp as the fingers of her left curled in the bedsheets. Her hips moved against him, urging more contact from him. “ _Fuck_!”

He held her clitoris gently between his lips, flicking his tongue against it, as he curled his fingers slightly inside of her. Within seconds he found what he was looking for, that slightly rough patch of flesh hidden inside that drove women wild. Buffy was no exception, screaming his name as he pressed against it…rubbed against it…all the while increasing the pressure on her aching clit.

And then he felt it…her inner walls tightening around his fingers, her muscles quivering around him. He pressed again and sucked hard at her clit. She screamed his name once more and came forcefully. He slowed his movements, gently easing his fingers out of her as he placed another soft kiss on her inner thigh.

Her body was trembling as he stood up and carefully pushed her back towards the middle of the mattress. He moved between her thighs and leaned over her, his erection resting against her thigh as he kissed her slowly. She reached between them, placing her hand on his cock…gently stroking it as she curled her leg over his hip. 

He broke the kiss and groaned as her palm rubbed in slow circles over the glans. “Fuck, Buffy…”

She smiled dazedly up at him and shifted underneath him. “Yeah…you should do that now…”

He placed another warm kiss on her lips before pushing himself up until he was kneeling between her thighs. He took a deep breath and then guided his erection through her warm, wet folds…and time seemed to stop as he entered her, slowly pushing forward until he was completely embedded within her. 

He leaned over her, supporting his weight with his left hand on the mattress. She rested her knees against his sides and raised a trembling hand to the side of his neck. 

“Alright?” He whispered, gliding his fingertips along her thigh.

“Uh-huh…” She murmured, her hand sliding from his neck and down his chest. She smiled as he inhaled sharply when her nails lightly scraped over his nipple. “Very alright.”

As he began to move within her, he realised that he wasn’t quite sure how they had gotten to this point. He definitely hadn’t expected this…for the situation to escalate as quickly as this. But, as she began to move against him…with him…he pushed his doubts and concerns aside. And allowed himself to feel. 

He’d deal with heavier thoughts tomorrow.


	3. Can't Help Me Now

The sunlight filtered through the blinds as Buffy opened her eyes. She was exhausted and fairly confused as to why she was even awake. She was still in Giles’ arms, her back pressed against his chest. His hand rested lightly against her abdomen…just under her breasts. She shifted her hips slightly, smiling as she felt the warmth of his flesh pressing against her backside. Her smile faded and she sighed as she felt his tension rise, even as he held her tightly against his chest.

“Please don’t panic, Giles.” She whispered, covering his hand with hers. “Please go back to sleep…”

“Buffy…” He started, pausing when she rolled over to face him.

“We’ve had a _very_ long night, topped with a couple of hours sleep at best. I’m exhausted, you _have_ to be as well. Let’s just rest and then we can – ”

“This shouldn’t have happened. Not like this.” He interrupted softly, rolling onto his back and staring at the ceiling.

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes, lightly stroking the hair covering his chest with her fingertips. “Or…we can just skip the rest and rush right into a really awkward conversation.”

“Why not? We rushed into a night of really – ”

Her fingers stopped their movements and she flattened her palm against his chest. “I _know_ you’re not getting ready to say ‘awkward sex’ because…of all things it was, ‘awkward’ is not one of them.”

He covered her hand with his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “No, it wasn’t. It was…fairly indescribable in the most…” He exhaled slowly. “Last night was…beautiful, Buffy. But, we _did_ rush…at an exponentially high rate of speed. And we shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have. I should’ve stopped it.”

She stared at him, furrowing her brow. “There was no way of stopping it after you knocked on my door, Giles. You know that. You _have_ to know that.”

“It’s not what I intended.” He said, running his hand through his hair.

“What exactly did you intend, then?” She asked, pushing herself up and leaning against the headboard.

“I…I wanted to talk.” He answered quietly.

“Kinda hard to talk if your tongue is in my mouth.” She shot back, narrowing her eyes as he sat up next to her. “You don’t even want to be here, do you?”

“Buffy, I don’t want to fight right now.” He replied, leaning his head back against the headboard. 

“You knew I wouldn’t be able to say no to you, didn’t you?” She asked, staring at him. “Sure, you could use the whole ‘I wanted to see if this is what you wanted’ excuse…but at the end of the fucking day, you knew. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have come back…and sure as fuck wouldn’t have kissed me.”

He turned to look at her, narrowing his eyes. “You honestly believe that I came back just to fuck you? That I would use you in that manner?”

She shook her head slowly and clenched her jaw briefly. “I don’t know what to think, Giles. But, I don’t think you fucked me. I think there was more to it than that…and I think that you’re very scared of what that means.”

“I…I should go…” 

“You should stay. We could wait this out…have a shower and some tea. Really talk it through…” She said softly, reaching over and touching his arm. 

He shook his head slowly and lowered his eyes. “I’m sorry. I…I can’t.”

“Seriously?” She asked, allowing her hand to fall from his arm. “You came over here last night ‘to talk’. We didn’t talk, Giles…we had sex. All fucking night. You were inside of me all fucking night. And now, you _can't_ talk? I call bullshit on this right now. _Fucking_ bullshit. It’s not that you _can't_ talk, is it? It’s that you _won't_. And that’s a hundred times worse.”

He raised his eyes and looked at her, his heart lurching when he saw the pain in hers. 

“Buffy…” He started, stopping when she shook her head and raised her hand.

“No, just shut up. Just…you’re in such a fucking hurry to go…so just go.” She stared at him for a moment and then shook her head in frustration, moving away from him and sliding out of bed. 

He watched her as she stormed towards the bedroom door, not bothering to cover her nude body. He closed his eyes as she walked out and made her way to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. 

“Fucking good show, Giles…” He muttered, climbing out of the bed and gathering his clothes that were strewn about the room. 

* * * 

Giles had waited over half an hour, pacing in her living room, before conceding the fact that she wasn’t going to come back out while he was still there. His heart felt heavier than it had in years. After another long look down the hallway, he shook his head and found a pad and pen on her kitchen counter. He left her a longer-than-intended note and paced for another ten minutes before heaving a frustrated sigh and walked out of her flat.

She only came out of the bathroom after she felt his presence fade away. A ‘perk’ of having Gilesdar, as Anya had called it. She knew it was the Watcher/Slayer bond that had ramped back up since her arrival in England. She could sense him when he was near, the same as he could sense her. She walked slowly into the living room and found his note sitting on the coffee table.

She sat down on the sofa and picked it up with a trembling hand. And promptly burst into tears after reading it.

* * *

Giles stopped for a red light and sighed, tiredly rubbing his hand over his face. He inhaled sharply, her scent still heavy on his skin. Suddenly he could feel her surround him…and, at the same time, he felt further away from her than he ever had. And he knew without a doubt that he’d made a terrible mistake by leaving.

The light turned green, but he didn’t notice until the car behind him alerted him to that fact with a quick blast of the horn. Giles lifted his hand in an apologetic wave and accelerated through the intersection. By the time he had reached the next roundabout, he had decided that he needed to go back. He needed to make this right, if he could.

And so, in a replay of the previous night, he followed the roundabout around and went back in the direction he had just come from…the direction that would lead him back to her flat. 

* * * 

He leaned against the front fender of his car wishing, for the first time in years, that he had a cigarette in his hand. Or a bottle of scotch. Anything to help quell his nerves. He took a deep breath and exhaled shakily before pushing away from his car. He ran his hand through his hair as he walked back to her flat. He paused for a few seconds before lifting his hand and quickly knocking on her door.

And he waited. 

He knocked again and then placed his hand on her door, his palm flat against the smooth wood.

“Buffy? Please…open the door.” He said quietly.

A few seconds later the door opened. He lowered his hand as he looked at her. Her red-rimmed eyes glancing at him before she lowered her gaze from his.

“Oh, Buffy…” He whispered, realising that she had been crying. 

“Why are you here, Giles?” She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself. 

“I’m sorry.” He lifted his hand and gently cupped her cheek.

She leaned into his touch briefly and then shook her head, taking a step away from him. “No…I can’t do this, not right now.”

His hand lowered as he nodded slowly. “I, uh…I made a mistake.”

“By fucking me?” She asked coldly, lifting her gaze and staring at him.

“By leaving…not talking…panicking.” He replied softly, slipping his right hand into his pocket. “I didn’t fuck you, Buffy.”

“That’s what I thought last night…” She ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head. “Felt very different this morning.”

“Can we talk this out?” He asked, shifting his weight nervously.

She looked at him for a long moment, biting her bottom lip before speaking. “I thought we were starting something last night. Now I’m wondering if it was ending something.”

He tilted his head slightly. “Buffy, please…let’s talk?”

“I don’t want to fight, Giles. And that’s where this is going to end up right now. This was the last place you wanted to be this morning.”

“It’s where I want to be now.” He said, the heaviness in his heart growing.

She shook her head slowly, a tear running down her cheek. “I don’t think I _can_ talk right now, Giles.”

He lifted his left hand to the door frame. “I never meant to hurt you, Buffy. I just…didn’t know what to do.”

“But, you did. You did hurt me.” She whispered, wiping her tears from her cheeks. “We’ll talk, okay. But, not right now…not today.”

He stood there and looked at her, not really sure of what to say. After a few moments, she sighed heavily. 

“This is the part where you say goodbye…see you later…or something.”

“I…” He started, stopping when he felt his chest constrict with a pain that he knew all too well.

She looked into his eyes and placed her hand lightly on his chest. “I know this is hurting you too, Giles. But…I have to work through this on my own before I can talk to you about it. Please…just go.”

He swallowed and gave her a nod. “I’ll see you later, Buffy.”

“Yeah.” She whispered, lowering her hand and taking a step backwards. “See you later, Giles.”

He closed his eyes as she gently closed the door. He lifted his hand, placing his palm on the door and leaning forward slightly.

“I am _so_ sorry, Buffy.” He whispered before pushing away and walking back to his car.

She leaned her back against the door and closed her eyes. “I know, Giles.”

She waited until she heard him start the engine and drive away. Then she made her way back to the sofa and sat down, curling up in the corner and resting her head on the armrest.


	4. Funny

Giles hadn’t heard his office door open or close, nor had he heard anyone walk through his office…or step onto the balcony where he currently was sitting. But, he felt her without question.

“Hello, Buffy.” He said softly, lifting the cup of tea to his lips.

“Hi…” She replied, leaning against the door frame and crossing her arms over her chest. “I missed you last night.”

Third Friday of the month…movie night. They all took turns hosting. Last night was Willow’s turn. He lowered his cup and placed it on the small table next to his chair.

“I missed you too.” He cleared his throat. “I did let her know I wouldn’t be able to make it, though.”

“Yeah, she said. Not sleeping well, apparently.” She pushed off of the door frame and took a step onto the balcony. “I haven’t seen you around in a while…”

“I’ve been working…” He replied, still looking out across the countryside.

“I haven’t _felt_ you around in a while…” She clarified, leaning against the railing and looking at him. “In fact, this is the first time that I’ve felt you since you left my flat.”

He sighed heavily and finally turned his eyes to her. “I was giving you time, Buffy.”

“You cloaked yourself from me, didn’t you?” She asked, narrowing her eyes.

“Not to hide from you. I was easy enough to find…as I said, I’ve been working. And you _do_ have my phone numbers.” He shook his head slowly and nervously rubbed the side of his neck. “I honestly was just giving you time.”

She tilted her head, regarding him closely…or as closely as she could in the moonlight. “You look tired.”

He nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“Are you okay?” She asked, moving closer towards him. 

“Not sleeping well.” He replied quietly. “Are you?”

“Sleeping well?” 

“Okay?” He said softly. “Are you okay?”

“I miss you.” She answered, gesturing towards a vacant chair as he stared at her. “Is it okay if I sit down with you?”

“Of course. Um…would you like some tea?”

She shook her head as she sat down, curling her legs underneath her. “No…it makes me jittery sometimes.”

“Tea?” He asked, obviously confused. 

She sighed softly. “Tea…with you.”

“Oh.” He replied, not quite sure what she meant. “Can I get you… _anything_?”

She blew out a breath and fidgeted with a ring on her finger. “An explanation?”

He lowered his eyes as he reached for his tea. An action that didn’t surprise her, considering he wasn’t wearing his glasses. He didn’t have glasses to polish, so a cup of tea was his next best distraction.

“I…reacted badly.” He offered, wincing when she barked a laugh.

“You’ve had three weeks to think about this and that’s what you come up with? You… _reacted badly_?”

He took a sip of his tea as he gathered his thoughts. “I’ve never been terribly good with opening up to people.”

“Color me surprised with that knowledge.”

His eyes shot to hers, clearly showing his annoyance. “What do you want me to say, Buffy? Because you obviously have something very specific that you’re wanting from me. Perhaps if you just tell me what that is, it would save us both a lot of time and heartache.”

“I’m sorry.” She said, sincerely. “I’m just really nervous right now. I don’t know where I stand with you.”

“I think we’re both a bit lost right now.” He replied, his features softening. “Which is why I shouldn’t have rushed into…well, what happened.”

“Sex, Giles. That’s what happened. Amazing sex, all night sex. The last time that happened for me, mystical forces were at work. Any ghosts around using sex to gather energy?”

He blushed and lowered his eyes, his index finger lightly circling the rim of his teacup. “I think you know as well as I do that it was more than that.”

“But…it was that, right? For you? I mean…”

He nodded slowly. “I thought that would’ve been obvious. Considering…”

“We need to talk this out, Giles.” 

He nodded again and inhaled deeply. “Where do you want me to start?”

“The beginning, I guess.” She answered. 

He finished his tea, but held on to the cup…staring at it as if it held all of the answers to the meaning of life. With another deep breath, he began to speak.

“I…was a very different person before my arrival in Sunnydale. I never let anyone in, got through my issues with rebellion…but never let anyone see the real me. I could talk my way out of…or in to…anything. And I didn’t shed a tear…I cut those emotions off. They’d get me nowhere.” He slowly lifted his eyes to her. “And then I was assigned to Sunnydale. To you. And all of that changed. A willful and insolent sixteen year old girl somehow worked her way through all of my carefully constructed barriers. And over the years, she’s continually knocked bricks down…even as I scramble to rebuild the walls.”

He turned the cup in his hand, running his thumb along the bottom.

“At some point, she… _you_ …became everything I ever thought about. At night I couldn’t rest until I knew you were home safe. The afternoons were spent training or plotting out various plans to assist you on patrols. The days were filled with researching whatever particular demon was causing havoc. The mornings were my own…and it wasn’t long until even those were spent thinking and worrying about you – and whether I was helping or hindering.”

He placed the cup on the table and stood up, sliding his hands in his pockets as he walked to the railing and stared at nothing.

“Then I was fired…and refused to leave. Then you left the Council…and it was just us again. But something had shifted…the change was beginning and I did everything in my power to quash it – even as our bond strengthened.”

“Olivia.” Buffy whispered softly.

He chuckled softly as he nodded. “And then there was Riley…” He turned and leaned against the railing, hands still in his pockets. “And then everything I did was wrong. No…not wrong. Useless.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Giles…”

“So when Ethan showed up, I drank with him. And I drank so much that I almost died…not unlike my time away from the Academy when I was younger. Then you saw me…for the first time in what felt like years. You saw me…and knocked a few more bricks out of my wall.” A small smile played at his lips. “And off we went again…back and forth, ebb and flow…Slayer and Watcher, friends and hints at more.”

His smile suddenly disappeared as he lifted his eyes to meet hers. “And then you died.”

He pushed off the railing and began to pace back and forth across the balcony. “You were gone…and yet, you were still consuming my thoughts. Do you know that I tried to make a bargain?”

“What?” She asked, staring at him in disbelief.

“Oh, yes. Not to bring you back from the dead, because things have a tendency to go very wrong there.”

“No shit.” She murmured, watching him pace.

“No, I wanted to go back…to change things, to do things differently.” He paused and shrugged a shoulder. “The ‘Powers That Be’ refused. And I started drinking. Drinking to remember, drinking to forget, drinking to…just stop.”

“They never said anything.” Buffy said, tilting her head slightly as Giles looked at her. “Willow, Xander…they never said.”

“I asked Xander to say nothing. Willow was too…preoccupied…with witchcraft to take notice as to what was becoming of me.” He offered her a sad smile. “And then I left – came back here, actually. To regroup, recharge, detox…whatever you want to call it. I’d barely landed when Willow brought you back. Back to Sunnydale I went…with no hesitation. Because, you see…it was all about you and I had to see for myself.”

“I’ll never forget that moment.”

“Nor I.” He whispered. “Christ, how I wanted…”

Buffy’s eyes widened as he trailed off. “How you wanted…what?”

“But, then there was Spike. A vampire who wore his dead heart on his sleeve for all to see – and I’d given my chance away. And besides, I was standing in your way.”

“So you left me…us…Sunnydale.”

He nodded slowly. “And I rebuilt my walls. Problem was…I didn’t kick you out before I rebuilt them. So, everything remained about you…only colored in new and different ways.”

“I…am really confused right now, Giles.”

He laughed softly and leaned against the railing again. “I’m not surprised.”

“Can we skip the next year? Because…that was not my finest year.”

He regarded her carefully for a moment and then exhaled a deep breath. “It was not…for either of us. But, against all odds, we made it through…and we averted yet another apocalypse and survived.”

“And then I followed you here.” She stood up and walked over to stand next to him, looking out across the green field. “And it’s beautiful here.”

“It truly is.” He agreed softly, glancing at her briefly. “I’d do it all again, Buffy. Every single moment.”

She turned towards him, surprised to see his eyes glisten in the moonlight. “Giles?”

He continued softly, his voice seeming to hang in the air around her.

“I’d change nothing. And how I feel could never fade. No matter how hard I try to make it otherwise.”

She merely looked at him and then took a steadying breath. “How _do_ you feel?”

He was silent for a long moment and then lifted his left hand to her cheek. “Like I want you to knock down the rest of the bricks and stop me from rebuilding.” His thumb gently stroked the skin in front of her ear. “Please stop me.”

When his eyes darted to her lips, she smiled. “Stop you from rebuilding? Or stop you from kissing me?”

He looked into her eyes and lowered all of his defences. “Both.” 

When he heard her soft gasp, he gently pulled his hand away…allowing his thumb to brush over her bottom lip. “There are words that are extremely hard for me to say…that I haven’t said in many years. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel them intimately. It’s not that I don’t want to say them…I do, desperately. But, I…I can’t. Not yet.”

She considered his words and then placed a trembling hand on his chest, directly over his heart. “Will you be able to at some point?”

“Christ, I hope so.” He whispered emotionally. 

He covered her hand with his, pressing it tightly against his chest. “I am so very sorry for hurting you. As much as it wasn’t my intention, I realise that there was no other way that was going to come across to you. And I was wrong. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, to give me another chance…I rather think that I would very much prefer for our night to have been the start of something amazing.”

“Jesus…so many words, Giles.” She replied with a smile that sparkled in her eyes. “Something amazing…I like that.”

“I’m tempted to ask you to come home with me tonight.” He smiled as she arched her eyebrow at him. “To continue this conversation. However, I’m concerned that my restraint will fail at some point. Would you like to grab a coffee?”

“I was thinking maybe a training session…letting me work out some of my frustration with you _on_ you? And then…I’d love to grab a coffee.”

His smile gave way to a soft laugh as he gestured towards the door. “After you…”

“Our lives…are funny…” She said with a chuckle as she walked back into his office. 

He nodded in agreement as he followed her.


	5. I Love It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to going out of town, I'm uploading Chapters Five and Six at one time.

“You’re telegraphing your moves.”

Buffy paused and stood up straight, dropping her arms and opening her hands. “No, I’m not.”

Giles crossed his arms and stared at her. “I beg to differ. Within the first two strikes, I knew exactly what you were going to follow up with.”

She raised an eyebrow and gestured towards the dummy she had just spent the last ten minutes pummelling. “Wanna take his place?”

“I’m sorry?” He asked, taking a step towards her. 

“Well, I _am_ supposed to be taking my frustrations with you out on _you_ …not a dummy.” She said, taking a step to her left and smiling at him as he uncrossed his arms. “Do you think you could take me?”

He paused, opening his mouth and then closing it as he stared at her. Her smile faded, suddenly realising what had fallen out of her mouth.

“Oh…I, uh…that’s not what I meant.” She looked at him for a moment and then took a step towards him. “Well, I mean…you…well, you _could_ …”

“Buffy…” Giles warned, somewhat half-heartedly. 

“I know.” She sighed. “But, do you think you could take me? I mean, in a fight not in a – ”

“If you continue to telegraph your moves?” He interrupted before she could make the conversation any more awkward than it had already become. “Absolutely. Without a doubt.”

She struck out quickly, a hard jab with her right hand…which he blocked without issue, wrapping his fingers around her wrist as he stared into her eyes. Her eyes widened in surprise.

“You didn’t even flinch…”

“Slight stutter-step with your left foot and you dropped your right shoulder.” He stated, pushing her arm away from him. “Would you care to try again?”

She hesitated for a second and then launched into a full attack. He blocked each punch, each kick without error. When she lunged towards him, he sidestepped and turned the attack onto her. She stumbled slightly, surprised to suddenly be on the defensive. He grabbed her shoulder to steady her and saw her smile a half second too late. 

She twisted her body slightly and pushed her hand against his chest. He grunted as she hurled him against the wall, following quickly with a kick that would have connected with his jaw if she hadn’t stopped it a couple of centimetres away from him. 

“Didn’t see _that_ one coming, did you?” She asked, lowering her foot back to the floor.

He shook his head and grinned. “Very well done, Buffy. Your adjustments were…unexpected.”

“Mm…new stuff I’ve been working on. Glad you like it.” She smiled softly, noticing his eyes had darkened slightly. “You did, didn’t you?”

He stared into her eyes, knowing exactly what she was inferring by her question. “I always do. You’ve just never paid this close attention before. I don’t necessarily _want_ to like it as much as I do…”

“Maybe I should pay better attention from now on.” She said, glancing at his lips. 

He pushed away from the wall and walked around her. “So…coffee?”

“Nice segue, Giles. Considering the situation, I’ll let it slide this time…” She reached out and grabbed his arm, turning him to face her. She tightened her fingers on him as she looked into his eyes. “Next time, I’m not stopping until we flame out. You understand what I’m saying?”

“Of course I do.” He took two steps forward, pushing her against the wall that he had just been hurled against and grinned. “I _did_ want to be a fighter pilot when I was a child. I understand the terminology.”

She licked her lips and his gaze flicked to the movement. Her grip on his arm tightened further as he edged closer to her. 

“You do realise that flame-out tends to occur during cruise or descent, yes?” He said, his voice dipping dangerously low. “And the engine can normally be restarted following a flame-out…”

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not talking about jet engines?”

He placed his hand on the wall, next to her hip and leaned closer to her. “Because you were _never_ talking about jet engines.”

“Giles…” She whispered, lifting her free hand to rest against his side. 

“We need coffee. _Now_.” He moved his lips to her ear, his breath hot against her skin as he continued on a thick whisper. “Rest assured, this in no way means that I don’t want you desperately right now.”

He pulled away from her suddenly, sighing as she looked at him through slightly glazed eyes. He took two steps back and cleared his throat. 

“I think this training session has come to a close. In the future, keep track of your movements…change them up accordingly…your opponent could possibly use them against you.” He smiled softly as he continued. “If they’re intelligent enough to track them themselves, that is.”

Buffy shook her head in confusion. “What the hell just happened here?”

“I nearly lost control.” Giles admitted, sliding his hands into his pockets. “I’m…well, I’m not sure I’m actually sorry. But, I do apologise for overstepping a line that I shouldn’t have crossed here and now.”

“You want me…” She stated quietly, more to herself than to him.

He chuckled and gave her a subtle wink before gesturing towards the door with a tilt of his head. “Can I buy you a coffee?”

She nodded absently, her mind replaying the events of the last few minutes. “Yeah…caffeine would definitely be appreciated right now.”

* * * 

Buffy watched him stir his coffee, well aware that he’d fallen into deep thought again. She took a sip of her mocha and then said his name. When he didn’t look up or acknowledge that she had said _anything_ , much less his name, she reached over and gently tapped his forearm. He looked up to find her smiling at him.

“Hm? Oh…I’m sorry.”

“What’s weighing you down right now, Giles?”

He placed his spoon on the saucer and sighed heavily. “I’m frustrated and annoyed.”

“At me?” She asked, suddenly concerned that she’d done something to upset him.

His brow furrowed. “What? No…at myself.”

“Why?” She took another sip of her coffee and curled both hands around the mug as she placed it back on the table.

“I feel that I’m dangerously close to fucking everything up again…less than five hours after being back on speaking terms with you.”

“We were never not on speaking terms, Giles. I just needed time to process what had happened…and you needed time to work through your concerns. If I had picked up the phone and called you, would you have answered?”

“Of course, I would have.” He replied with no hesitation.

“So would I…if you had called me. That’s not something people would do if they’re not on speaking terms.”

He sighed heavily, rubbing his thumb along the top of the handle of his mug. “You know what I mean, Buffy.”

“Do you think I don’t feel the same? Jesus, Giles…do you know how hard it was to not kiss you? Even before our whole jet engine thing…” She leaned back in her chair and regarded him closely. “As soon as you said ‘Hello, Buffy’, all I wanted to do was to run over to you and…but, I couldn’t. We needed to talk…and we did. And after we talked, I just wanted you to hold me…to kiss me…to…”

She closed her eyes briefly and shook her head. “I’m scared too, you know? I don’t want to mess things up…but, how can I not want more from you? With you?”

She opened her eyes and smiled nervously at him. “If you asked me to go home with you right now, I would. If you had asked me after our training session, I would have. If you had asked me after we talked, I would have. Would that mean it would be a mistake? Or would we just be giving in to what we both feel?”

“Would we not be rushing things? Again?”

“Would you panic in the morning and think that leaving would be your best option?”

He leaned back in his chair and stared at her. “I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t make that mistake again.”

“Then ask the question…if you want to.”

He was quiet for a few moments, staring at his coffee. Then, taking a deep breath, he lifted his gaze to hers.

“Would you like to come home with me tonight, Buffy?”

“To talk?” 

He shook his head slowly, then shrugged his shoulder. “Of course, if you want to talk, we can. But, I was actually referring to my bed.”

She gestured to his coffee. “Do you want to finish that first?”

“Not particularly…”

She pushed her own mug to the side and offered him a warm smile. “Then, I’d really like to go home with you now.”

With a quick nod, he pushed his chair back and stood, offering her his hand. When she placed her hand in his, he gave it a gentle squeeze and pulled her up.

* * * 

“I hope you’re not expecting the same level of exuberance that I exhibited a few weeks ago.” Giles murmured, in between kisses as she unbuttoned his shirt.

She laughed softly, pushing his shirt off of his shoulders and pressing a kiss to his sternum. “I was thinking the same…but, with shorter words – and less of them.”

He lifted her shirt over her head and dropped it to the floor, gliding his lips and tongue along her collarbone as he reached behind her and deftly unclasped her bra. As she worked on his belt, he unbuttoned her jeans. After he unzipped them, he gently guided her backwards towards the bed…holding her gaze. She sat down on the mattress and discarded her bra before moving towards the centre of the bed.

He removed his trousers and boxers, smiling as she took the opportunity to shimmy out of her jeans and underwear as well. He made his way to the bed as she stretched out across the mattress. He slid his right knee between her thighs as he leaned over her and kissed her deeply and slowly. 

When he moved his mouth to the side of her neck, she slid her hands down his back. “How much sleep have you been getting?”

He mumbled something against her skin and she laughed, lightly scratching her nails over his shoulder blades. “What was that?”

He shifted so that he was kneeling between her thighs and lifted his head. “Enough to function…”

He ran his fingertips over her nipple, grinning as she shuddered beneath him. “I have enough energy for this, if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

“Never thought you didn’t.” She said, curling her legs around his hips and pulling him to her. “But, you do need more sleep.”

“Later.” He mumbled, reaching down and guiding his erection into her. 

He smiled at her soft groan as he pushed forward, pausing only when he was fully embedded within her. Leaning down, he brushed his lips across hers before whispering her name.

“Huh?” She answered, sliding her hands to his sides.

“Open your eyes, look at me.” He whispered, his voice gravelled with desire. 

She did as requested, gasping at the depth of desire she could see in his darkened green eyes…his pupils heavily dilated. “Giles…”

He began moving with slow strokes, relishing the sensation of her nails scratching across his ribs. “Tell me what you want…”

“You…want me to talk to you?” She gave a shaky laugh as he nodded silently. “I can barely think right now, much less talk…”

“Not asking you to think…” He murmured, covering her breast with his hand and gently squeezing. “Just…talk…”

When she hesitated, he smiled down at her. “It can be whatever you want…I just want to hear your voice while I’m inside you.”

“Would you think it was really weird if I asked you to bite me?”

He paused his movements and looked into her eyes. “That turns you on too?”

“Don’t know.” She replied, moving her right hand to rest on the side of his neck. “I’ve never felt safe enough to ask anyone to do it before…but, I feel like I want you to…”

When he smiled, she ran her fingernail over his skin. “Wait…you said…’too’…”

“Mm-hm…” He closed his eyes, sighing as the sensation of her nails on his neck caused him to tremble lightly. “Right there, if you want…”

She gently pulled him down and replaced her fingers with her mouth. As her teeth grazed his skin, she was rewarded with a hard thrust of his hips against hers. 

“Harder, Buffy…” He whispered gruffly, slipping his right arm beneath her knee.

Her left hand moved to the back of his head, nails scratching at his scalp as she increased the pressure of her bite on his neck. He groaned loudly, shortening his strokes as he pushed harder into her.

And then she tasted it…hot and metallic, coppery…and he continued pushing. She pulled her mouth away and gasped.

“Oh God, Giles…I’m…”

“Don’t fucking stop, Buffy…” He growled, lowering his mouth to her shoulder. 

She ran her tongue over the bite, somewhat confused by his reaction…but, more aroused than confused. As she felt his teeth scrape along her skin, she felt her orgasm quickly approaching. When he felt her inner walls quiver around him, he pushed himself up and gazed down at her.

The imprint of his teeth stood out on her skin. He knew that it would be gone by morning. There was a small red smudge of blood on her lip…his blood. He lowered his mouth to hers, licking the smudge clean with his tongue before kissing her deeply. When he felt her nails dig into his sides, he pulled back and stared into her eyes. 

“Come with me, Buffy.” He whispered urgently. “I’m so close…let me take you with me.”

She nodded quickly, arching her back and baring her throat to him as he pushed her closer to orgasm. Without a second thought, he latched onto her throat…sucking hard and applying gentle pressure with his teeth.

“Giles… _fuck_! Harder…”

He wasn’t exactly sure what she was referring to, so he did everything harder…fucked her harder, sucked her harder, bit her harder…

He felt her scream his name, the sound vibrating against his teeth milliseconds before he heard it. And then he felt it…her inner walls convulsing around him as she came hard, triggering his own orgasm deep within her. 

His bite ceased, his lips soothing her bruised skin as he reverted to soft kisses against her flesh. 

“Holy fuck, Giles…” She panted, wrapping her arms around him and holding him as tightly as she could.

He smiled against her skin, content to stay within her as they came down. 

“Seriously…holy… _fuck_ …” Her arms trembled as an aftershock swept through her.

He lifted his head and smiled as he fought to control his breathing. “Quite…”

Her eyes widened as she looked at his neck. “Oh, shit…Giles…you’re bleeding.”

“Mm-hm…” He murmured as he shifted, allowing his softening flesh to slip from her. “You’re not…close though. Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head, her trembling fingers tracing the bite mark on his neck. “No…but we should clean this…”

“It’s fine, Buffy.” He whispered, moving to her side and pulling her against his chest as he ran his fingers through her sweat-dampened hair. “Stay here with me.”

“Should we talk about this? I mean…this is…I’m a Slayer, what the hell?”

He chuckled sleepily and placed a line of kisses across her forehead. “And I’m a Watcher…and we’ll talk about it later. Rest now. Sleep with me.”

Within moments, she felt his breathing even out…and realised that he had fallen asleep. She ran her fingertip over the mark on his neck and sighed. The bleeding had stopped…she had just broken the skin. But, she had a feeling there was going to be one hell of a bruise in the morning. 

She smiled as he mumbled in his sleep, tightening his arms around her as he slipped his left leg between hers. She yawned and pressed a warm kiss to his chest. 

It wasn’t long before she followed him into sleep.


	6. The Man to Hold the Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to going out of town, I'm uploading chapters five and six at the same time.

Buffy woke slowly, stretching her aching muscles as she yawned. She opened her eyes, glancing towards the window and sighing when she realised that there was no sun creeping through the curtains. The sun wasn’t up, but Giles was…and he was currently smiling at her as his fingers lightly stroked her back.

“What time is it?” She asked, kissing his chest softly before shifting to move from her current position of being stretched out half on top of him.

“A little after three…and please don’t move.” He replied, pressing his hand flat against her back to keep her from sliding off of him. “Unless, you’re uncomfortable…”

“No, I’m good…I just didn’t mean to use you as a body pillow.” She said, snuggling back against him and resting her head on his shoulder.

He turned his head slightly and kissed her forehead, his fingers resuming their light caresses across her back. “It feels amazing having you here like this.”

“Why are you awake at three in the morning?” She asked, allowing her fingers to play with his chest hair.

“Watching you sleep, thinking…”

“That must’ve been what woke me up…your thinking.” She met his eyes and exhaled softly. “What’s on your mind now?”

“I want this to be more than this.”

She merely stared at him for a second and then shook her head in confusion. “Okay, I’ve just woken up at stupid o’clock in the morning…can you translate that for me?”

“This…us. I want it to be more than this…sex.” 

“Like…you want to date me?” She closed her eyes and groaned. “God, forget I said something that lame.”

He chuckled and rolled onto his side, gently rolling her as well. “I want to have a relationship with you. If that is defined as dating you, then yes…I want to date you.”

“A proper relationship?”

He smiled, nodding as he brushed the hair back from her face. “You’re really not at your best for conversation at this hour, are you?”

“No, I’m sorry…” She returned his smile. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a need to be up at this time of morning.”

Her smile faded as she looked at his neck. “Wow, um…you’re going to need some creative wardrobe work to cover that…”

“Yours will fade away by daybreak.” He lightly traced the faint bruise on her throat. “Pity, really…”

She arched an eyebrow at him, circling the dark bite mark with her fingertip. “What’s the deal, Giles? With the wanting to be bitten?”

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, obviously considering his words. “Blood is life. It’s not necessarily about wanting to be bitten…but, more that I want to give you my life. A part of me that no one else could have. Fairly simple, at the end of the day…”

“You couldn’t just give me a rose and ask me to be your girlfriend or something?”

“I will never give you roses. I’m sure at some point I will give you flowers…but, it will never be a rose. Besides, it was a more…primal…act than that. I…” He shook his head and lowered his gaze from hers. “I don’t know how to explain it, to be honest.”

“I think I get it…at least to an extent. It’s not like I hated it myself, you know.”

“Can this be more, Buffy?” He asked quietly.

Her smile sparkled in her eyes as she lifted her hand to his cheek. “It’s always been more, didn’t you know that? It’s been more for…well, longer than I’ve been in England. Why do you think I came here?”

“To help with the Slayers, rebuilding the Council…”

She shook her head slowly, her smile growing. “I came here to be with you, Giles. For us to be together…stronger than Watcher/Slayer, deeper than teacher/student. I just didn’t know if you wanted the same thing.”

“When I left, after the implosion, I was almost certain that I’d never see you again.” He whispered sadly. “I didn’t really know how to deal with that…which is why I threw myself into the rebuild so deeply and quickly. God, how I missed you.”

“I think I knew fairly quickly that I was going to forgive you for everything you had ever done.” She leaned into him and kissed his lips. “I want this too, Giles. Remember back when I said that I was tired of the dichotomy of my existence? And that I wanted to be able to have a real relationship…a proper relationship?”

“I do. I remember that vividly.”

“I was talking about you. A real relationship with you. Something more than being your Slayer.” 

“We’re a pair, aren’t we?” He remarked with a small smile. “I’d very much like to take you out…dinner, movie, patrol…whatever you want.”

“I’d like that too. Well, maybe not a patrol. I’d rather focus on you and not have to worry about you being knocked unconscious…” She rubbed her eyes and draped her arm over his side as he laughed gently. “Do you think we can figure this out when it’s a bit more light outside?”

He nodded and ran his thumb along her ear. “Of course. Go back to sleep, Buffy.”

She yawned and cuddled closer to him. “You going back to sleep too?”

“Mm…soon.” He curled a strand of her hair around his finger. 

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “You think far too much, Giles.”

“Always have.” He lightly ran his finger along the fading bruise on her shoulder. “Good night.”

“Mm…g’night…” She murmured sleepily. 

It wasn’t long before she was fast asleep again. He watched her for quite a while before finally allowing sleep to take him over as well.

* * *

Seven hours later, she sat on the island in his kitchen…watching him slice fruit as she sipped a mug of tea. “How come you never have cantaloupe?”

He turned to look at her. “Seriously?”

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat it…” She placed her mug on the countertop and gently swung her feet.

“There’s a reason for that.” He stated as he quickly sliced two bananas and tossed them into the large bowl.

“And that is?” She asked, reaching into the bowl and grabbing a slice of strawberry.

“It’s disgusting and infects every other fruit and then everything tastes of melon.”

She laughed and held a piece of strawberry to his lips. He held her gaze as he gently took the proffered fruit before licking her thumb. He smiled as she inhaled sharply.

“You know…I thought I knew the better part of me.” He said, seemingly apropos of nothing. 

She tilted her head in confusion and narrowed her eyes. “Huh?”

“Watcher, languages, magick…I’m confident in my abilities. But, you made me strive to be even better…which makes me wonder if you’re actually the better part of me.”

“How can I be the better part of you when you are you and I am me?”

He tilted his head and grinned. “That was very I Am the Walrus-esque.”

“Are you even speaking English?” She asked, obviously very confused.

He laughed loudly and reached over to slide his fingers along her jaw. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing _at_ you…”

“Well, you’re not laughing with me…because I’m too confused to laugh. Where the hell are you going with this?”

“I want to be there for you, wherever you need me…whenever you need me. I want to be there for your victories, I want to help you when you fall apart…”

“But, you’ve always been all of that, Giles.”

“As your friend, as your Watcher.” He took a deep breath and gazed into her eyes. “I want to be that as a man, your partner.”

“My lover?” She asked, pulling him to her with a gentle tug on his shirt. 

“Yes.” He replied simply, placing his hand on her knee as he stepped between her thighs. “I want you to know that if life gets too hard, you can count on me without question. No matter where I am…close your eyes, say my name…I’ll be there.”

“I know.” She whispered, sliding her arms around his neck. “And I do count on you for so much.”

“I want to kiss you.” As she smiled questioningly, he licked his lips. “If I kiss you now, I’ll want more…”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

His hands moved to her thighs, his fingers gently stroking against the denim. “It’s not necessarily – ”

He sighed as his phone rang, glancing towards the offending object. He turned back to her and she smiled, gesturing towards the phone.

“You should probably get that.”

He rolled his eyes, grumbling something about inopportune timing as he walked over and grabbed the phone.

She smiled as she listened to his side of the conversation. It was obviously Willow calling to check on him. He suddenly turned to look at her and she was somewhat surprised to hear her own name.

“Buffy? Oh, yes, well…uh…yes, she _is_ here. Is there a problem?” He paused for a moment as he listened to her and then cleared his throat, glancing at the clock. “Ah, yes…of course. An hour should be fine.” He met Buffy’s eyes. “Yes, yes…she’ll still be here, I’m sure. I’ll ask her to stay until you arrive.”

Buffy smiled warmly and reached into the bowl, pulling out another piece of fruit as Giles said goodbye to Willow. When he hung up the phone, she grinned at him.

“So…Will’s coming here, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think she has any idea that I’ve been here since last night?”

He shook his head. “No. I’m not sure why she would…”

She glanced at his neck and her grin grew. “Then we better do something about that then, huh?”

“Hm?” He looked at her in confusion, his eyes widening when she gestured towards his neck. “Oh, fucking hell…”

Buffy laughed and jumped from the countertop. “It’s not that bad, Giles. Well, no…it’s bad…but, it’s not as high up on your neck as I thought it was and the bruising isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. But, it’s very obviously a bite mark. You should be able to hide it with a normal collared shirt…or at least hide most of it. If she mentions the bruising, we can always say that I hit you with a staff during training.”

When he glared at her, she laughed again. “What? It’s not like that’s never happened before!”

He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. She made her way over to him and gently rubbed his chest. 

“Hey…we’ll take care of it, okay?”

“It’s not that. It’s…” He opened his eyes and shook his head. “I don’t want to hide us, Buffy. But, I’d rather them not find out like this either.”

“I get it…I feel the same.” She took hold of his hand and leaned up to kiss him. “You know I want you to be able to count on me too, right?”

He smiled and gave her a nod. “I do…”

She sighed heavily and rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb. “Wish we had more than an hour…”

“Would you like to go out with me tonight?” He asked, gazing into her eyes.

She nodded and then paused, shaking her head. “I have patrol tonight.”

“I’m well aware.” 

She stared at him incredulously. “You want our first date to be a patrol? I’m pretty sure we discussed that in the wee hours of this morning…”

He stepped closer to her, placing her hand on his chest. “I promise I won’t get knocked unconscious…”

She laughed softly and shook her head in amusement. “If we end up at the hospital, I’m going to be really pissed off.”

He grinned and leaned down, dropping a soft kiss onto her lips.


	7. We Were Beautiful

Giles looked up as Willow walked into the living room. Willow looked very confused…and a bit annoyed.

“Good morning, Willow.” He offered with a smile.

“Hey, Giles. I thought you said Buffy would still be here…I kinda need to talk to her.”

Giles closed the book he was reading and gestured towards the kitchen. “She is. She’s making tea, I think…”

Willow glanced towards the kitchen. “But…her car isn’t here.”

He smiled, shaking his head. “No, it’s not. It’s at the Council. We were training after hours…then went for coffee. By the time we left there, it was fairly late…so she stayed here last night.”

“Oh…well, that makes sense, I guess.” She plopped down on the sofa and smiled. “You look better…”

“Than what?” He asked, placing the book on the lamp table.

“Than you did the other day, when you weren’t sleeping well.”

“Ah…” He ran his hand through his hair. “Yes, I was finally able to get a decent amount of proper sleep last night – did me a world of good.”

“Hey, Giles…before we go out tonight, can we stop by my – ” Buffy walked into the living room, carrying two mugs of tea. She stopped suddenly, surprised to see Willow sitting on the sofa with Giles. “Oh…hey, Will. I didn’t know you were here yet. Want some tea?”

“No, I’m good. You’re going out tonight? The two of you?” Willow asked, darting her eyes between Buffy and Giles.

“Yeah, I’m scheduled for patrol tonight. He’s going to come with me and be all Watchery…make sure I haven’t lost my touch.” She smiled brightly at Giles and was rewarded with a quick wink from him.

“Is that why you were training last night?” She asked, watching Buffy hand Giles a mug of tea. 

“Yeah. Giles reckoned I was telegraphing my moves.”

Giles took a sip of his tea and looked at her over the rim of his glasses. “You were. I think I sufficiently proved that, yes?”

Buffy rolled her eyes playfully. “Yeah, yeah…”

Willow grinned. It had been a while since they had bantered like this…in fact, it had been a few weeks since she had actually seen them in the same room together. She had started to get worried that there was a problem, but watching them now…everything seemed to be perfectly normal.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Buffy asking what she needed to talk to her about. 

Willow took a deep breath and looked directly at Buffy. “I’m worried about you.”

“Me?” Buffy asked, clearly surprised. “Why?”

Giles took another sip of his tea, his eyes focused on Willow. 

“Have you even been on a date since Sunnydale?”

Giles slid his gaze to Buffy, lowering his mug and resting it on his knee.

“No…” She said slowly, briefly glancing at Giles. “Not because I haven’t been asked a few times though.”

Giles arched an eyebrow, but said nothing.

“Why not?”

Buffy stared at her friend and took a deep breath. “Did you seriously track me down to ask me why I’m not dating?”

“No…well, yeah, okay. There’s this guy – ”

Buffy interrupted her with a raised hand. “Not interested, Will.”

“Why not? He’s really nice and pretty cute…and he asks about you all the time.”

Giles rolled his eyes and stood up. Buffy furrowed her brow as she looked at him.

“Where are you going?”

He gestured vaguely and shook his head. “Away from this conversation. I don’t need to be here for this.”

Willow grinned up at him. “Well, you could help me out, you know.”

“No...I don’t think I can.” He replied. “This is definitely not my area of expertise.”

Buffy watched him as he walked into the kitchen. She narrowed her eyes when she heard the back door open and close. Willow shrugged her shoulder and turned her attention back to Buffy.

“What’s wrong with him?”

Buffy shook her head slowly and took a sip of her tea.

* * *

Ninety minutes after he had gone outside, the back door opened. He exhaled a deep breath as she walked out and sat down in the chair next to his. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked, curling her legs underneath her.

“I’m just thinking.”

“Mm-hm…thinking always leads to thoughts…” She shook her head as he slowly turned towards her. “You know what I mean.”

“This should be easy, but it never is. It’s never safe. And I don’t really know where to go or what to say…”

“Yeah, see….you thinking led to those thoughts – which make no fucking sense in the grand scheme of anything…”

“I can’t take back anything I’ve said or done.” He continued. “I don’t think I want to because I can see what we could be. Together…and apart. Memories shift and manipulate thoughts and…things were so very different in Sunnydale. Not better, necessarily. But…different.”

“Giles, seriously…what are you talking about? Because you’re making the kind of sense that doesn’t. Is this because Willow is trying to set me up with Gareth?”

He stared at her for a second. “Gareth? That’s who she was talking about?”

“Yeah…so not my type.”

Giles snorted. “He once was.”

She bit her lip as she watched him nervously rub the band of his ring with his thumb. “Are you having second thoughts, Giles?”

“They cycle through…sometimes faster than others.” He swallowed as he met her eyes, gesturing between them. “This is all we have right now, Buffy.”

“Do you remember what you asked me at three in the morning? You asked if we could be more than this…” She sighed heavily. “At least, that’s what I remember happening. And I remember telling you very clearly that we could most definitely be more than this…whatever your definition of ‘this’ is. Or was all of that a very strange and vivid dream?”

“No, that’s exactly what took place. But, Buffy…” He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “You deserve _more_. You deserve someone who can actually tell you how the hell he feels about you. You shouldn’t have to guess about how I feel or worry about whether you’re misinterpreting something I’ve said or done. How is that fair to you?”

She reached over and placed her palm over his heart. He glanced down at her hand and then looked at her. 

“What are you doing?”

“You need to listen to what’s in here more than what’s going on in your mind, Giles. Maybe not when it comes to demons…listen to your mind when it’s about demons. But, when it’s about me…about us…you’re just going to fight yourself every single time. You know, maybe you _can’t_ tell me how you feel – and I don’t know why that is…maybe one day you can explain that to me. But, I can feel it…when you hold me, when you kiss me…when you make love to me. Don’t think that you don’t show me how you feel…because you do. And, actions speak louder than words. Your heart is beautiful and strong…and it doesn’t overthink every minor detail. It just…feels.” 

She gently rubbed his chest and offered him a loving smile. “So, while this may be all we have right now…it’s also all we need for the time being.”

He was quiet for a few moments and then covered her hand with his, lacing their fingers together as he pulled her hand from his chest to rest against his thigh. 

“Even if we weren’t together, I’d urge you to stay away from Gareth.”

She laughed and leaned her head against his shoulder. “Apparently, Anya is talking to someone in demonology about you…”

“Fuck’s sake…” He muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

She squeezed his hand and then stood up. “Come on…”

“Where to?” He asked, standing up when she gently tugged his hand. 

“Inside. Your sofa is much more amenable to snuggling than these chairs out here…”

“Snuggling…” He echoed with a chuckle. “Because I’m _such_ a snuggler.”

“You’re more of a snuggler than you let on. I’ve got your number on this, Giles.” She grinned, leading him back inside. 

“That you do.” He murmured to himself, following her willingly.

* * * 

Giles walked beside her as they entered the third cemetery of the night, his hands in his pockets as he quickly scanned the area. It had been a fairly busy night, especially for the area and time of year. He watched as she twirled the stake in her hand while she talked to him. Of course, if she had asked, he wouldn’t be able to tell her what she was talking about…he was far too focused on how her hand was curled around the stake.

“Um, Giles?”

Her exasperated tone caught his attention and he met her eyes quickly. “Yes?”

Even in the moonlight, she could see the red tinge of his skin around his collar. “What was I talking about?”

“The, uh…well, you…the vampires were…oh bloody hell, I have no idea.” He finally admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

She laughed and slipped her arm through his. “I was just saying that this is the busiest night I’ve had in a while…and was wondering what your thoughts were on my techniques. You know, considering you’re my Watcher.”

“Ah, yes…technique. Amazing, as always – though you seemed to be rushing the last couple…which was somewhat of a concern. I was going to ask you about it, but got sidetracked…”

She looked up at him questioningly. “What possibly could have gotten you sidetracked during patrol?”

“Your hand…”

She stopped walking and stared at him. “My hand? What are you – ”

He glanced at the hand in question and she could’ve sworn she heard a small groan. She looked down at her hand and smiled as understanding hit her.

“Oh…”

“Yes, quite.” He murmured, running his finger along the lapel of her leather jacket. 

“I’m not sensing any vampires here…”

“No?” He surveyed their surroundings and nodded in agreement. “I think you’re right.”

She curled her fingers into the front of his shirt. “Come here.”

He tightened his fingers around her lapel as he lowered his mouth to hers. He groaned softly as her tongue swept into his mouth. Their kiss intensified as they both fought for control. He slowly guided her backwards, steadying her when she stumbled slightly. When her back pressed against a small crypt wall, he moved his mouth to the side of her neck. She slid her hand to the back of his head, holding him against her. When her free hand moved between them and brushed over his erection, he pulled back and shook his head. 

“Not here, Buffy.”

“What the hell, Giles?” She groaned in frustration.

“I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have…it shouldn’t have gotten that far.” He lifted a trembling hand and gently rubbed his thumb along her bottom lip. “Christ, you’re lovely…”

“Can you – ”

“Ow, what the hell was that?” Anya said loudly from the other side of the crypt.

Giles took a sudden step backwards and ran his fingers through his hair. Buffy gestured towards his lips and he quickly swiped his sleeve across his mouth, wiping her lipstick away. She took a deep breath and then stepped around the corner.

“Anya?” Her eyes widened. “And Xander…and Willow. What are you guys doing here?”

“Impromptu patrol for old time’s sake.” Xander replied with a grin, pointing at Willow. “It was Will’s idea.”

Willow looked at Giles and then back at Buffy. “You guys okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just been a busy night. You should’ve caught up with us two cemeteries ago. This one is a dud.” 

Willow looked back at Giles, who was looking a bit flustered. “Giles?”

“Hm?” He ran his palm down the front of his jeans and cleared his throat. “I tripped over a broken headstone…”

“What the hell happened to your neck?” Anya exclaimed, staring at Giles.

Giles quickly lifted his hand to his neck, relieved to find that his collar was covering the actual bite mark. “Oh, the bruise. I mistimed Buffy’s attack with a staff last night…hurt like hell, actually.”

Buffy smiled as she slipped her stake into her jacket pocket. “That’ll teach you to keep harping about me telegraphing moves…”

“Yes, well…” He glanced around and sighed heavily. “We might as well call it a night.”

“Drinks at the pub?” Xander asked hopefully.

Giles chuckled and slipped his hands into his pockets. “I’m up for it.”

Buffy successfully held her laugh, but agreed to go along as well. As they filed out of the cemetery, Giles quickly slid his hand down Buffy’s back…giving her hip a gentle squeeze, pulling back before he was seen. 

He carefully adjusted his collar as he moved up to walk next to Xander. Willow fell into step with Buffy and gave her a sideways glance.

“A staff?”

“Should’ve seen it, Will. Completely caught him off-guard. First time that’s happened in ages.”

Willow laughed and gave her a gentle nudge. “So, you sure about Gareth?”

Buffy merely glared at her, causing her to laugh even louder.


	8. It's Only Love

Giles smiled as he nursed his third beer, listening to Xander prattle on about whatever was in Xander’s head. Giles wasn’t drunk…he wouldn’t even classify himself as ‘tipsy’ – but, Xander…he never could hold his alcohol. And in a safe environment, Giles had always found it amusing. 

He listened to Xander, but his eyes were following Buffy – who was currently throwing darts with Willow. He made a mental note to show her…well, show them both…how to properly hold a dart. He was fairly amazed at how spot on Buffy’s accuracy was, considering she was holding it entirely incorrectly. But, then…she was Buffy. She had always done things her own way…and they had always – most of the time, at least – worked out perfectly well.

“I love you.” Xander sing-songed, causing Giles to look at him sharply.

Giles shook his head in amusement as Anya sat down next to Xander and grinned before giving him a soft kiss. He envied Xander, in a way. The ease at which he could tell Anya that he loved her. The way the words simply rolled off his tongue. 

He glanced back at Buffy and sighed. He _did_ love her, that wasn’t even in question. But, the words just wouldn’t come. They almost surfaced a couple of times…while he was deep inside of her, hearing her moan his name, feeling her warm breath against his skin as they moved together.

He took a deep breath, silently cursing himself – his mind for wandering to that place, his body for reacting. This was definitely not the time for this – alcohol, public venue…if he was the person he was twenty-five years ago, he would’ve already had Buffy pinned to the wall in the hallway and wouldn’t care who saw. But, he wasn’t…and Giles very much cared who saw.

He was going to have to talk to her about it – the reason he couldn’t say the words. She was right, actions do speak louder than words – but, he knew without a doubt that Buffy longed to hear the words. And he wanted to say them, but fear was a funny thing…and there wasn’t much that he did fear. Telling someone he truly loved that he was in love with them? That was high on his list of what he feared.

It had cost him in the past. The saying of the words, as well as the not saying of the words. He glanced at his glass and arched an eyebrow. He saw a coaster hit him in the chest and he looked up, sending a quick glare to Anya…who was currently staring at him.

“Why are you throwing things at me?”

“Because you’re doing that weird thing again. Where you go off into Giles-land and ignore everyone.”

Xander giggled drunkenly, causing Giles to smile. Anya rolled her eyes.

“Maybe I’ll go play darts with them.” Xander said, gesturing towards Buffy and Willow.

Giles snorted a laugh. “Oh, yes. That would be a bloody brilliant idea.”

“Why do they put dart boards in pubs anyway?” Anya asked. “That’s just asking for trouble – alcohol and sharp, pointy things that could put someone’s eye out.”

Giles laughed again and lifted his glass to his lips, swallowing a mouthful of beer. Xander slid off of his stool and grinned broadly. 

“I’ll be back…”

For a moment, Giles was concerned that he actually was going to head over to Buffy and Willow. He relaxed when Xander turned and made his way to the hallway that lead to the restrooms instead.

“So…would you like to tell me what _really_ happened to your neck?” Anya asked, smiling as Giles immediately lifted his hand to cover the bruise. “I’m going to guess it wasn’t a vampire because there’s no way that Buffy wouldn’t have panicked over that.”

Giles lowered his hand and sighed in resignation to the fact that he wasn’t going to be able to hide this from Anya. He was partly relieved, but he was mostly terrified.

“The fact that Buffy jumped in with the whole ‘I hit him with a staff in training’ excuse tells me that she knows what really happened. Question is…does she know because you told her? Or does she know because she’s the culprit?”

Giles stared at his glass, his mind scrambling for words.

“Culprit, then…” She looked at the bruise again, smiling at the tell-tale sign of a tooth mark peeking out from under the edge of his collar. “Bite, not just a hickey. Deep bite too, from the looks of it. That kind of bite happens during sex, not just making out. So, you and Buffy have graduated to orgasm friends now. Interesting.”

Giles drained the rest of his beer and quickly caught the bartender’s eye, gesturing for another. 

“You’re not going to say anything?” 

“You seem to be doing just fine on your own, Anya.” He replied, sliding his empty glass to the end of the table. 

“So, you are? Having sex with Buffy?” Anya smiled as she leaned forward, crossing her arms on the table.

Giles glanced over at Buffy and then looked up as the bartender placed a fresh beer in front of him. “Thank you.”

The bartender smiled and picked up the empty glasses on his way back to the bar. 

“It’s more than sex, isn’t it?” Anya asked, regarding him closely. “You’ve loved her for years…”

Giles’ eyes snapped to hers. She easily read the emotions held in those green irises.

“You haven’t told her. Why haven’t you told her?”

Giles opened his mouth, then closed it. Then took a deep breath and shrugged a shoulder. “It’s not that easy…nor is it that simple.”

“Of course it is. It’s only love, Giles.” She looked over her shoulder at Buffy and smiled as she turned back to Giles. “What kind of marks would she have on her if she didn’t have Slayer healing?”

Giles drank a third of his beer in one swallow. 

“What were you guys really doing when we showed up tonight?”

“Patrolling.” Giles answered unconvincingly.

“Does she at least _know_ you love her?”

Giles hesitated for a moment and then nodded slowly. “She knows. She also knows that I can’t tell her yet.”

“Does she know _why_? Do _you_ know why?”

“I’m painfully aware.” He replied quietly.

“You should tell her, Giles. Tell her why.” 

Hearing a crash, they both looked over to see that Xander had spectacularly walked into another patron of the pub. Giles chuckled and met Anya’s eyes. 

“You should go take care of him.”

Anya nodded in agreement and stood up. She paused, leaning over to carefully adjust his collar for him.

“Go talk to her. Really.”

He watched Anya walk over to Xander and then he finished his beer. With a deep breath, he stood up and made his way to Buffy and Willow.

Buffy smiled at him as he stopped next to her. “Hey, what’s up?”

He hesitated for a brief second and then lifted his hand to her cheek, staring into her eyes. “I need to talk to you.”

Willow’s eyes widened. She had seen Giles touch Buffy numerous times over the years, but never in a way that said ‘I’m about 2.3 seconds away from kissing you’. 

“Giles?” Buffy whispered as he glanced at her lips. “What’s going on?”

“Anya figured everything out. They’ll all know by morning, most likely. And…I really need to talk to you.”

“ _Anya_ figured out?” Willow asked, darting her eyes between the two of them. “Seriously? You two are…you’re… _Anya_? How did Anya know before me?”

Buffy glanced at the side of his neck. A barely perceptible smile played at his lips. 

“You okay with this?” She asked, smiling as he nodded. “Will? We’ll talk tomorrow, okay? I promise…”

“Um…yeah, okay…” Willow said, staring as Buffy and Giles made their way through the crowd towards the door. “What the hell is going on?”

“Buffy and Giles are having sex. He loves her, but hasn’t told her yet. She knows he loves her, but doesn’t know why he won’t say it.” Anya stated quickly, her arm around Xander’s waist. “Xander’s drunk. We need to go home now.”

“Buffy and Giles are…” Willow shook her head and looked at Anya. “How did you figure it out?”

“What?” Xander asked suddenly. “Buffy and Giles are… _what_?”

Anya smiled and shrugged a shoulder.

* * *

Buffy sat down on the bench and looked at Giles as he sat down next to her. “Okay, so how did Anya figure everything out?”

“My collar slipped. She…deduced. It was an odd conversation – or monologue, as it were. It wasn’t much of a conversation…more her simply telling me what had happened.”

“And that was that?”

“Pretty much.” Giles said as he took a deep breath. “That’s not what I need to talk to you about though.”

“Okay…”

When he was quiet for a long moment, she reached over and took hold of his hand. “Giles?”

He lowered his eyes, watching her thumb rub gentle circles over the back of his hand. “I’m scared.”

“You’re scared?” She turned to face him, placing her other hand on his knee. “Of what?”

“It’s been twelve years…” He started, leaning back against the bench and staring off into the distance. 

“Since what?” Buffy asked quietly, recognising the look of internal struggle on his face. 

“Since I said ‘I love you’ to someone…I loved.” He swallowed and looked up at the sky. “That ended…well, ‘badly’ would be a gross understatement. And…what I feel for you is…stronger.”

He paused and took a deep breath before slowly turning towards her. “I want to say those words to you. I’ve nearly said them, but…horrible things happen when I do. And I can’t put you in that pathway. It will end horribly, tragically…and it will all be my fault…”

“Giles…”

“I know it all sounds so paranoid or superstitious or…” He lifted his hand and gently brushed her hair back from her face. “I’m trying to work through that. Logically, I know how absurd it all sounds and I know that me saying ‘I love you’ didn’t bring about her death, but…it’s an absurdity that I’m going to have to work through on my own. Because, however absurd…it haunts me. But, please know…I’m working so very diligently to get through this. Please…give me time, don’t give up on me.”

“She…died?” Buffy asked, tears glistening in her eyes. 

His thumb gently stroked her cheek. “Another story, another time. There are no need for tears right now…”

“The tears are for your pain, Giles. They’re not for me. I’ve never seen…” She exhaled a slow breath and a single tear slid down to Giles’ thumb. “Your pain is deep, covered by years’ worth of scar tissue. Your fear is very real, fed by that pain – I wouldn’t call that absurd, not at all.”

“It’s only love…” He whispered sadly.

She shook her head and placed her hand on the side of his face in a loving caress. “But, it’s not, Giles. I get it now…I’m not giving up on anything, okay?”

He nodded in understanding and leaned down, kissing her warmly as they slid their arms around one another.


	9. Early in the Morning

Five weeks had passed since Anya had confronted him about the true nature of his relationship with Buffy. While they weren’t actively hiding their relationship, it still wasn’t common knowledge within the Council. At one time, he would have had to declare such a change in their dynamic…but that was with the old Council and the old rules. Times had changed and they had changed with them. There wasn’t ‘one girl in all the world’ now. There were currently eighty-six active Slayers. And Giles answered to no one but himself…and possibly his own Slayer.

Willow had told Gareth that Buffy wasn’t interested. Gareth had been disheartened, but accepted the outcome…and turned his attentions towards Maria – a Spanish Slayer who had arrived at the compound a few months earlier. Giles kept his opinions about Gareth mainly to himself, but he did speak to Maria’s Watcher – and requested that he keep an eye on things. Gareth had a tendency to hop around.

Camille, the researcher in Demonology with whom Anya had been discussing Giles, asked Anya how Giles was doing one morning. Anya responded in her typical manner – and Camille walked away from that conversation with the knowledge that Giles was currently receiving all of the orgasms he could ever want and that he wasn’t the type to give more than one woman orgasms at a time. Giles had been equally horrified and amused when she had recounted the exchange.

He and Buffy had spent two nights apart during those five weeks – and that was due to an emergency that Giles had needed to research regarding a nest of Plexstine demons that had been discovered in Finland. The rest of their nights had been split between his home and her flat – and they each felt equally comfortable in either.

Giles glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table and sighed. The time read 2:28 and he was wide awake – had been for some time now, his mind racing with thoughts he couldn’t seem to stop. He turned his attention to Buffy, who was currently sleeping soundly with her head on his shoulder and her arm draped over his abdomen. 

At the moment, he was trying to decide whether to wake her up or to let her sleep. He knew, without a doubt, that she would not be upset in the least if he woke her – they’d talk, kiss, make love…she’d help quieten the thoughts in his head and they’d fall back asleep holding one another. But, she had been involved in an unscheduled patrol earlier in the night – and it had been a fairly brutal exercise. Twelve vampires, two Slayers. 

Each Slayer had returned home to their Watcher. It had been brutal, but successful.

He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and gently manuevered himself out from under her. He watched her until she resettled, snuggling into his pillow and sighing deeply. A smile of adoration graced his lips. After a few moments of simply watching her, he took a deep breath and got dressed…and then he left a note for her on the pad that always had a place on his bedside table. 

He leaned down and kissed the tip of her ear before whispering softly.

“I’ll be back soon, love.”

She mumbled incoherently and held onto his pillow tighter. 

* * * 

His walk found him half a block away from Buffy’s flat, sitting on a park bench near a small man-made pond. There was nothing remarkable about the small spot, nothing that drew him into the space…but, it was nice and quiet – and safe. And for the first time in many, many months – possibly years…he allowed his mind to interact with the memories he kept locked away. Memories of a happier time, a happier time that had ended twelve years earlier…four years before he had been called up and assigned to Buffy. 

He didn’t think of Sophie very often. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he couldn’t bear to – the pain, the sadness, the…guilt. It was all too much for him to cope with at times. Sophie had been a Watcher as well – they had gone all through the Academy with one another. She had even been a witness to his spectacular exit from the Academy. She had also been there for him upon his return. 

They had been friends, first and foremost. Best friends. It was one of the reasons that he hadn’t been overly surprised by the dalliance between Xander and Willow when they were in high school. He understood the circumstances and emotions that blurred the lines of friendship and love. 

Giles and Sophie had discussed their feelings off and on for years before finally allowing themselves the chance to have more. Both had been worried that their friendship would be damaged if they became lovers. For six years they danced along the line, dating others during the times that they insisted that their friendship was most important. 

Those other relationships never lasted long, for either of them. 

And then one night they had gone for a walk…and they had stopped by a pond…and the moonlight lit everything just perfectly. And Giles had thrown caution to the wind and kissed her. At that moment, they both knew that they couldn’t go back to having _only_ a friendship. That night, by the pond under the moonlight, those blurred lines snapped and they allowed themselves to admit to one another that the love they felt was stronger than they could deny.

They had been together for seven years. They had lived together for five. She had proudly worn her engagement ring for eight months. 

She had been buried wearing it. 

He remembered very clearly the last time he said ‘I love you’ to anyone he had truly loved. And that was in a dark, secluded spot on Council grounds in London – moments before he had initiated a kiss that had quickly turned into much more, hands tugging at clothes as he had pushed Sophie against the wall of an old, but charming, abandoned shack. 

Giles closed his eyes, slamming the door on the memories before they could show him her death. He locked that door quickly, a tear rolling down his cheek as he lowered his head to his hands. 

For the first time in many, many months – possibly years, he allowed his tears to fall in memory of her. 

* * * 

Buffy sighed as the bed shifted and warm arms slipped around her. “Mm…you’re back…”

Giles pulled her against his chest and pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder. “I’m back.”

“Where did you go?” She asked sleepily, snuggling back against him.

“Just to that little pond down the road.” He murmured, closing his eyes as his body began to react to her movements. “Just too many thoughts tonight, couldn’t sleep.”

She turned in his arms and looked into his eyes. It didn’t take much to discern that he had been crying. She could count on one hand the number of times she had seen his eyes the bright, watery green that came after a really heartfelt cry…the type of cry that turns to uncontrollable sobs. It wasn’t something he did often…or not something that she had seen the evidence of that often.

“Are you okay?” She whispered, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair above his ear. 

He smiled softly and nodded. “I am.”

“When you want to talk about it, you know I’m here…right?”

He nodded again, sliding his hand to rest on her hip. “I do.”

She shifted against him, gliding her fingers in small circles on his chest. “Do you want me?”

“Always.” He whispered, his fingers tightening slightly on her hip.

“Do you _need_ me?” 

He started to reply, then hesitated. His hand moved from her hip to the side of her face, his thumb lovingly stroking her cheek as he looked into her eyes.

“I don’t want sex to become the substitute for words I can’t yet say, Buffy.” He licked his lips and took a deep breath. “The sun isn’t even up yet and it’s far too early for deep discussions. I appreciate and adore your willingness to…”

She smiled as he trailed off. “You, uh…you know it’s not exactly a self-sacrificing thing, right? I get a lot out of it too.”

He chuckled and rolled onto his back, pulling her with him. “What do _you_ need, darling?”

“Darling?” She raised an eyebrow at him. 

He paused for a moment and then nodded slowly. “You _are_ , don’t you realise? You are…darling. _My_ darling.”

“Giles…” She whispered emotionally.

He smiled adoringly, knowing that she understood his meaning. 

“What do you need?” He repeated softly.

She lowered her head to his chest and held on to him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her and held her just as tightly. It wasn’t long before she felt his hold loosen slightly as sleep found him. She smiled, pressing her ear to his chest…content with listening to his heart beat rhythmically as he slept. 

She wondered about what had taken him from bed so early in the morning. What had caused him to get dressed and leave the flat to clear his head. She knew that he would tell her eventually, when he was ready…when he was able. He wasn’t at that point yet in his own healing. She wasn’t sure what had happened twelve years ago, but she knew that for him to be holding on to it this tightly for this long…it had to be a) important and b) unimaginably horrible. 

She knew that he had loved Jenny Calendar dearly and she knew that Jenny had loved him. She remembered vividly his reaction, his pain, his guilt when Jenny had been murdered. She had always assumed that Giles had told Jenny that he loved her, considering how seemingly easily he had admitted it to Buffy as they stood at her grave. But, he hadn’t and she couldn’t help but think that what had happened before he came to Sunnydale was even worse than what had happened to Jenny. And she was having a lot of trouble even imagining what could’ve been worse for him.

She shifted carefully, moving to his side. She smiled as he shifted with her, curling his arm around her and lacing his fingers with hers – obviously unwilling to lose contact with her even in sleep. 

“I love you.” She whispered so quietly that even she wasn’t sure if she had said it aloud or not. 

Had her head still been resting on his chest, she would’ve heard his heartrate increase. He opened his eyes and looked at her as well as he could without moving his head. He watched as she lifted her free hand and silently wiped a tear from her eye. He wondered if this was the first time she had done this…whispered her love for him as he slept. Or if this was something she’d done before…and then cried after saying it because she knew she wouldn’t hear the words back.

He didn’t want to alert her to the fact that he’d heard her…seen her. So he did what he could. He calmed his heart and then rolled onto his side, lovingly wrapping his arm around her and pulling her against him and pressing a soft, sleepy kiss in her hair….and pretended to still be asleep.

She fell asleep quickly in his embrace. 

He didn’t. He held her for the next hour, two hours…he wasn’t even sure.

And as the sun began to rise, he took a deep breath…hoping for an uneventful day. 

He smiled as she turned in his arms, sleepily pressing kisses against his chest as she slipped her leg in between his. He chuckled softly as his body began to react to her innocent movements. When he felt her smile against his skin, he realised that her movements weren’t as innocent as he had believed.

He rolled her onto her back, laughing softly as she grinned at him.

There were worse ways to start the day…even if he hadn’t gotten that much sleep.


	10. The Worst in Me

Buffy walked into Giles’ office, opening her mouth to call his name as she closed the door. She glanced over at the sofa on the other side of the room and laughed softly, quickly deciding not to call out his name. She walked over to the sofa and knelt down on the floor, smiling as she lifted her hand to stroke Giles’ hair. Giles…who was sleeping peacefully, stretched out on the sofa…ankles crossed and his left arm curled under the back of his head.

He stirred slowly, sighing softly as he opened his eyes to find Buffy smiling at him. He lifted his right hand from where it was resting on his abdomen and gently touched her cheek.

“Hello.”

“Hey…you must be more tired than you were letting on at lunch.” 

He slid his hand to the back of her neck and pulled her to him, covering her mouth with his and quickly slipping his tongue into her mouth. She returned his kiss, equalling his passion as she placed her right hand on his chest. When she heard the soft groan come from him, she pulled back and stared into his eyes.

“God, I love that sound.” She murmured, fingers toying with his tie. 

“What sound?” He asked, glancing at her lips.

“That…growly thing you do at the back of your throat…when you’re getting really turned on while we’re kissing…”

“I make no such sound…” He replied with a grin, capturing her lips again.

When he groaned again, she pulled back and grinned at him. “ _That_ sound.”

“Ah…” He mumbled, leaning back into her.

He paused when she raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“You seem to be breaking this unspoken rule about no playing in your office…”

He ran his thumb over her bottom lip, smiling as she stifled a moan, and looked into her eyes. “One…you can’t break a rule that is unspoken. If it’s unspoken, then one can assume that it hasn’t been properly discussed. Two…I’m not playing.”

She glanced at the door and cleared her throat. “I, uh…the door isn’t locked.”

“I want you, Buffy.” He whispered, uncrossing his ankles and tugging her until she took the hint and climbed on top of him. 

“Giles…”

He glanced down, sliding his hands along her thighs as she settled against him. “A little further up…”

“The door…” She started, closing her eyes as he moved her until she was resting directly over his erection. “Jesus, Giles…”

When she felt his hands move to her hips as he gently thrust up against her, her eyes snapped open and she stared at him. 

“No…we’re not doing this here!” She shook her head when he started to speak. “What’s gotten into you? You’ve barely held my hand in here, much less…” She sat back and gestured towards their clothed, but touching, groins. “What the fuck?”

“I can lock the door…” He said simply, lifting his left hand and gesturing towards the door with a small flourish as he muttered a word in a language that was definitely not English. He smiled as the click of the lock sounded loudly. “See? It’s locked…”

“So not the point, Giles.” She said, carefully climbing off of him. “What’s going on?”

He rubbed his eyes, clearing his throat as he sat up. “I, uh…I’m sorry. You’re right, we shouldn’t…not here.”

She sat down next to him, staring at him in concern. “What’s going on?”

He blushed lightly and rubbed the back of his neck. “You…well, I was having a dream…that you interrupted.”

“Oh…” Her eyes widened as his blush deepened. “Oh!”

He pushed himself up from the sofa and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Yes, quite…”

“So…that was what? Like, sleep sex or something?”

He snorted a laugh, shaking his head. “Not at all. I was awake and well aware of what I was doing. I was just…quite aroused when you woke me.”

She tilted her head, glancing towards his groin. “Still?”

“Yes. But, I’m in control now.” He offered her a warm smile before moving behind his desk to grab his jacket from the back of his chair. “What time is it?”

“4:30ish. That’s why I came by…to see if you were ready to go. We need to stop by the shops for popcorn and drinks…”

“Ah, right. Movie night…is it at mine or yours this time?”

She laughed and walked to the door. “Yours.”

He grinned as she attempted to turn the doorknob. When she gave him a look of exasperation, he whispered a word and the lock opened. 

“You shouldn’t do magick like that.” She said as she opened the door.

“I know, it’s rather – ”

“Sexy.” She interrupted. “It’s sexy and it makes it hard for me to stop things when I need to stop them. So, you shouldn’t do it.”

He nodded as he followed her out, pulling the door closed behind him. “I’ll have to remember that…”

* * * 

Willow took a sip of her drink, glancing over Buffy and Giles who were sharing the larger of the two sofas. She smiled as she watched Giles absently stroke his fingers along the top of Buffy’s shoulder. She was pretty sure that he wasn’t even aware that he was doing it.

Buffy caught her looking and smiled. “What’s up, Will?”

“Huh? Oh…I was just wondering how long you guys have actually been together. You’ve never said…”

“Nine weeks.” Giles answered.

At the exact same time, Buffy answered as well. “Six weeks.”

Anya paused the movie and the three of them stared at Buffy and Giles, who were currently staring at each other.

“Nine weeks?” Buffy asked, turning her body to face him. “Seriously?”

Giles lowered his arm from the back of the sofa and stared at her. “It’s been nine weeks tonight…”

“Yeah, since we…” She shook her head. “How can you possibly count that as the beginning of our relationship?”

“Because that's when we…when I came back and we…” He looked absolutely flustered as he ran his fingers through his hair. “You don’t?”

She stared at him incredulously. “You left in a panic and we didn’t talk for three weeks!”

Xander’s eyes widened. Willow’s mouth dropped open. Anya grabbed a handful of popcorn.

“I came back.” He offered, a slight tone of sadness in his voice. 

“You _left_ …I asked you to stay, to talk. You wouldn’t!”

Xander coughed lightly, causing both Buffy and Giles to look at him. “So, you guys…um…the night we were at Buffy’s for the anniversary?”

“Sex.” Anya supplied, patting Xander’s knee. “They had sex.”

Xander slowly turned towards Anya. “Yeah, got that, An.”

“And then Giles did the awkward guy thing and left.” Anya continued.

“Got that too, Anya.” Xander replied.

“I didn’t do the…I wasn’t awkward.” Giles argued. “I panicked…there were extenuating circumstances. But, in my defence, I came back to try to rectify – ”

Anya shook her head quickly. “You’re never gonna rectify something like that. If you leave, you leave…no matter the circumstances.”

“See?” Buffy said, gesturing towards Anya. “ _She_ gets it!”

Giles glared at her. “Do you really want to continue this line of arguing? Because, I know we can go all night.”

Anya snorted. Buffy opened her mouth to retort and then realised what he’d said. A slow smile appeared on her face. 

“Mm-hm…”

Anya snorted again. Xander spluttered around the drink he’d just taken. Willow’s eyes widened, as did her grin. Giles rolled his eyes.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake…” He muttered, standing up and storming into the kitchen.

Buffy got up and followed him.

Xander looked at Willow. “Did they really just have an argument over how long they’ve been together…based on the first time they had sex?”

Willow nodded, amusement dancing in her eyes. 

Anya chewed another piece of popcorn. “Buffy’s right, he can’t count those first three weeks – even if they did have sex all night.”

* * * 

“Giles…”

Giles slammed the refrigerator door shut and grabbed the bottle opener. “I don’t want to argue about something this stupid…”

Buffy arched an eyebrow. “It’s not stupid, but you honestly can’t count those first three weeks. We weren’t talking…I didn’t even _see_ you…and you cloaked yourself from me. But, what are you _really_ angry about?”

He popped the cap off the bottle and tossed the bottle opener onto the counter. “Probably the fact that our friends now know that we had sex all night and then I panicked and left you.”

“You came back.” She replied with a gentle smile.

He took a long drink from the bottle and shook his head. “Don’t…”

She sighed heavily and crossed her arms over her chest. “Let it go, Giles.”

As much as he wanted to take a deep breath and allow the situation to de-escalate, he felt the anger begin to well up inside him again. Buffy saw it in his eyes and furrowed her brow.

“Seriously? Why the hell are you getting so worked up over this?”

“Don’t, Buffy…” Giles warned, tightening his grip on the beer bottle.

“No, _no_ …you’re not going to bottle _this_ up too…why is this – ”

“It’s nine weeks, Buffy. Not six. It _has_ to be nine…”

“That makes no sense. Even _you_ know, logically, that you’re wrong. I don’t understand why you’re being so argumentative – ”

“Because that night I admitted to myself that I love you! I fucking love you!” He bellowed.

Buffy’s eyes widened. Giles dropped the bottle from his grasp, taking a step backwards as it bounced on the floor and spilled the remainder of his beer over the tiles.

“Giles…”

He shook his head quickly, eyes filling with panic. “No…no, no, no…fucking hell!”

He turned and nearly ran out of the room. Buffy stared after him, unable to move.

* * *

Giles’ exclamation had been clearly audible from the living room. Xander, Willow, and Anya all stared at the kitchen door…and then their eyes followed Giles as he rushed out of the room and down the hallway.

When Buffy didn’t chase after him, Willow stood up and gestured towards the kitchen. 

“I’ll go check on her. Why don’t you guys get things packed up? We’ll head out after I talk to Buffy, okay?”

Xander nodded silently. Anya sighed and tossed the rest of the popcorn in her hand back into the bowl. 

Willow glanced down the hall, not surprised to find it empty. Taking a deep breath, she walked into the kitchen. 

Buffy was standing there, her left hand holding onto the kitchen island as she stared blindly towards the door. An empty beer bottle was resting against the bottom of the refrigerator, beer was splattered in puddles on the floor tiles.

“Buffy? You okay?” Willow asked softly, making her way to her…carefully avoiding the beer on the floor.

“He’s never said it before.” Buffy whispered, shaking her head.

Willow narrowed her eyes in confusion. “Never said what?”

“That he loves me. He’s never said it…” A tear slipped down her cheek. “And the first time he says it, we’re arguing…and I’ve never felt that he loves me less than I do right now.”

“What? He’s never said it?”

“No, but there are reasons…I was okay with that, I understood.” Buffy glanced at Willow, wiping her eyes. “But, I never doubted he loved me…even though he didn’t say it. And the first time he says it, he screams it in anger…”

“Buffy…”

Buffy took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. “I hate to do this, but…do you think you guys can clear out for tonight? I really think Giles and I need to talk…and – ”

“You don’t need to explain. Xander and Anya are already packing up. I just wanted to check on you before we left. If you need anything…call, okay?”

Buffy nodded, but said nothing. She walked out of the kitchen and made her way down the hallway. She didn’t even look at Xander or Anya. She made an internal promise to apologise to them both tomorrow. She needed to get to Giles. 

Willow picked up the empty beer bottle and placed it on the counter before quickly cleaning up the beer from the floor. Xander and Anya were waiting at the door for her when she came out of the kitchen.

The house was silent…and none of them knew if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

* * *

Buffy opened the bedroom door to find him sitting on the bed, staring at the floor. She walked in and sat down next to him. They sat in silence for a few moments before she decided to start whatever this was going to be.

“You, uh…you kind of left me hanging out there. Dropped a pretty big bombshell on me…”

He nodded slowly, still not looking at her. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? Yelling at me? Yelling that you love me? Or leaving me out there on my own afterwards?”

“All of it.” He replied softly. “That’s not how I ever envisioned telling you – and I _have_ thought about it quite a lot.”

“Are you okay?”

“You amaze me, Buffy. I fuck up, yet again…and the first thing you do is see if I’m okay. I don’t even…” He shook his head sadly. “I’ve nearly told you so many times…in much more acceptable manners. And… _this_ is how it comes out. And I _still_ didn’t even say it properly.”

“When have you almost said it before?” She asked, moving a bit closer to him.

“Every time we make love.” He replied on a whisper, reaching over and placing his hand on her knee. 

Feeling the tremble in his hand, she covered it with hers and squeezed gently. “Giles…”

He sighed heavily and moved from the bed to his knees in front of her. He exhaled and brought himself to eye level with her. His heart was racing as he met her eyes. He gazed into her eyes for a few moments and then he felt a wave of calmness wash over him.

He took a deep breath and gently squeezed her knee.

“Buffy, I love you.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “I love you too.”

He laughed nervously and lovingly wiped away a tear as it slid down her cheek. “I, uh…I’m fairly terrified at the moment.”

“I know.” She whispered, moving forward to put her arms around his neck. “We’ve got this, yeah?”

He nodded as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her shoulder.

“It’s…never easy. And I know I don’t make things any easier at times.” He said softly. 

“Luckily, you’ve got me to balance that out then, huh?” She said with a smile, placing a warm kiss on the side of his neck. 

“You’re still not going to count the first three weeks, are you?”

“Fuck no…” She said with a laugh.

He smiled brightly and held her even tighter.


	11. Tomorrow

Giles closed his eyes as Buffy moaned his name, her hands gripping his back tightly as he slowly moved within her. He lowered his mouth to the side of her neck, gliding his lips over her skin…a low growl rumbled in his chest as her nails dug into his skin, pulling him closer, tighter against her. He could feel her hot breath on his neck as she panted in exertion, her knees resting against his ribs as she pushed her hips against his in perfect rhythm. 

“I love you.” He whispered softly, groaning as her inner walls tightened around him. “Christ, I love you…”

And then he gasped sharply as she came hard around him, somewhat unexpectedly. He obviously had expected her to come…just not at that moment. 

“Oh, _fuck_ …” He muttered as she screamed his name, her nails breaking his skin. His teeth nipped at her collarbone, grazing their way to the soft flesh at the junction of her neck and shoulder. He growled again as she tilted her head, giving him better access.

“Fuck, Giles…” She moaned as his teeth bit…followed quickly by his tongue soothing the bite. “God, I love you…”

He fought to hold on as he quickened his thrusts, rapidly pushing her towards another orgasm. He lost his rhythm slightly as her mouth found his shoulder, her teeth biting down as she sucked hard against his flesh. He cried out her name and she came forcefully, this time taking him with her.

They brought each other down slowly, bites turning to kisses…kisses turning to nuzzles…nuzzles turning to softly whispered declarations of love that brought tears to Buffy’s eyes. She held onto him for as long as she could before his softened flesh slipped from within her.

Giles did his best to control his breathing as he rolled onto his back, pulling her into his arms. “Well, then…”

She chuckled breathlessly and placed a kiss on his sweat-dampened chest before resting her head on his shoulder. “Best makeup sex ever…”

“I’m inclined to agree.” He replied, gently stroking her back with a trembling hand. 

“Words, words, words…I would’ve just gone with a mumbled ‘mm-hm’ and been done with it.” 

He laughed and pressed a warm kiss in her hair. 

They held each other in silence for quite a while…long enough that Giles had started to wonder if Buffy had drifted off to sleep. He focused on the sound of her breathing, the feel of her heartbeat against his hand…which was currently resting flat against her back. 

“Are you okay?” She asked softly.

“I’m fighting the urge to find a spell that will basically wrap you in a bubble to keep you safe.” He answered, just as softly. 

“Something bad isn’t going to happen because you told me that you love me. If anything bad happens, it’ll probably be because I’m a Slayer…and that’s the nature of this entire thing.”

“ _The_ Slayer.” He corrected automatically. “And I know…but the fear is there, palpable even.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked, sliding her hand to rest over the circular scar on his abdomen.

“I do…eventually.” He replied with a heavy sigh. “But, not right now. We really are somewhat fucked up, aren’t we? Or at least, I am. Fighting over…things that really aren’t worth fighting over. Worrying about what tomorrow is going to bring…and what I’m going to do to break your heart then.”

“Break my…Giles, you haven’t broken my heart. Well, not in the last nine weeks anyway. You broke my heart nine weeks ago…but, we worked through that.” She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “We argue, not fight. And all couples argue…plus, it’s not even like we argue all that much. We’ve had like what…two? Maybe three. We don’t go to bed angry, we sort it out before we go to sleep. I think, maybe…you’re overthinking things a bit right now. You’re _definitely_ not fucked up.”

He sighed heavily and rubbed his hand over his eyes. “Maybe. Quite possibly, even.”

“So…sleep then?” 

“Worried about that too…” 

She shook her head and gently ran her fingers through his hair. “Giles…you’re so tired, I can see it in your eyes. You _need_ sleep…nothing is going to happen tonight.”

He nodded slowly, half agreeing with her…half hoping to convince himself. “So, we sleep?”

She snuggled against him, smiling as she closed her eyes. “We sleep. I love you.”

Even though his fear was there, he smiled as well…closing his eyes and wrapping his arm around her protectively. “I love you, too.”

In a matter of minutes, they were both sleeping soundly.

* * *

Buffy woke suddenly and quickly turned her eyes to Giles. His entire body was trembling, skin glistening from the light sheen of sweat covering it. She sat up and ran her fingers over his brow, wondering briefly if he was ill. 

And then she heard it…the mumble of her name as the rate of his breathing increased. She whispered his name, not sure if she should wake him or not. His left hand clenched into a fist and his brow furrowed. Before she could say or do anything, he sat up suddenly and screamed her name. 

“Whoa…shh…I’m here.” She said quickly, placing her hand on his cheek and forcing him to look at her. “I’m right here, everything is fine. You’re fine, I’m fine…we’re all good, Giles.”

He panted heavily, panic in his eyes.

Eyes that weren’t focusing on her, she realised. He wasn’t awake. His eyes darted around the room, not focusing on anything.

She whispered his name, her thumb stroking his cheek. She’d read that you shouldn’t wake a sleepwalker – while he wasn’t up and walking around, she figured this was pretty much the same thing. He was panicked and scared…and still very much asleep. 

She spoke softly, hoping that he could hear her and take comfort from her words as she carefully manuevered him back down onto the mattress. When his head hit the pillow, his eyes closed…but his body was still tense and trembling. So, she kept talking…gently stroking his hair, his brow, his chest…areas of his body that she knew helped relax him. 

It took some time, but he eventually took a deep shuddering breath and then his breathing returned to normal. 

He relaxed and settled back into sleep. She didn’t. She watched him sleep, curling his damp hair around her finger as she watched him silently. It didn’t take much use of imagination to figure out what he had been dreaming. She couldn’t even be surprised herself…but, she promised herself that she’d try to get him to talk about it in the morning. 

For now, she’d keep watch and help him if he needed it again. 

* * *

“Hey, Reg…” 

Giles turned towards the soft voice, knowing without a doubt who it would be. Only one person had ever called him ‘Reg’ in his entire life. A small smile played at his lips. 

“Hello, Soph…” He looked around and sighed heavily. “Obviously…a dream.”

“Well, yeah…obviously.” Sophie laughed, sitting down on a park bench next to a pond. “Sit with me.”

Giles sat down, holding her gaze. “What’s this about, then?”

“That young lady in your bed…who’s keeping an ever watchful eye over you as you sleep.” 

He narrowed his eyes slightly. “As _I_ sleep? She should be asleep too.”

“She was…until you screamed and woke her up. Now she’s concerned…so, she watches…” She sighed softly as she regarded him closely. “You look good, Reg. Older.”

“You look…exactly the same.” He whispered sadly. “I’m scared. Of losing her like I lost you.”

She nodded in understanding and then exhaled a breath. “You know that you didn’t lose me because you said ‘I love you’. You lost me because – ”

“I know how I lost you.” He interrupted swiftly. “Please, can we not talk about that?”

“You need to forgive yourself for what happened. Basically, because there’s nothing to forgive yourself for. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I wasn’t paying attention.” 

She laughed and shook her head. “Obviously, I wasn’t either. I was a Watcher too, you know. We were just a little preoccupied…wrong place, wrong time.”

“I still miss you.” He said quietly. 

“Never visit though.” She offered him a gentle smile when he looked at her. “However, I understand. I’m not sure I’d be up to visiting you all that often if it had been the other way around. But, I wouldn’t have blamed myself – I would have blamed the demon that took you from me. Which is what you should do. Don’t carry guilt over something that was never your fault, Reg. You’ve missed out on a lot by doing that…not so much with Linda, but definitely with Jenny.”

“Linda? Oh, I’d forgotten about her. She definitely wanted much more than I could’ve ever given her.” Giles chuckled softly, but sadly. “But, you know as well as I do, it never would’ve worked out with Jenny.”

“No, it probably wouldn’t have. But, you _did_ love her. She could’ve made you happy for a while.” Sophie tilted her head and smiled. “And you’ve loved Buffy for much longer than you care to admit to yourself.”

“I’m not sure what that has to do – ”

“Everything, Reg. It has everything to do with everything.”

Giles stared at her. “You’re more confusing than _I_ am. I don’t remember you ever being this confusing.”

She shrugged a shoulder and grinned. “I’m a dream, love.”

She reached over and placed her hand on his knee. “You need to let go of me, Reg. You’re holding too tightly to the past…and that will eventually break her heart, if you’re not careful. I want you to be happy, to be in love…have children. I’ve always thought you would be such a wonderful father.”

“I’m not sure if Buffy even wants children…” He replied, suddenly wondering if Buffy would want children. “We haven’t discussed it. We’ve only been in a relationship for nine weeks.”

Sophie laughed brightly. “Six, love. You can’t count the first three…even _you_ know that. No one said that children had to happen now…you have plenty of time, trust me.”

“What if we don’t? Have plenty of time, I mean.”

“Trust me.” Sophie repeated. “You have _plenty_ of time.”

“I should tell her about you…about us.”

“Yes, you should. But, in your own time…and it shouldn’t be spoken about with apocalyptic views – we were happy, Reg. For seven years, we were very happy and I loved you more than I ever thought imaginable. So, when you tell her about us…you need to be able to remember the happy moments. It shouldn’t be about that final night. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“I do.” He whispered. “I think you would have liked her. She reminds me so much of you in so many ways.”

“I like her very much…because she loves you.” Sophie looked around as the light around them began to lighten. “I should probably go now.”

Giles stood up when she stood, reaching out to take her hand. “Thank you, Soph. I promise, I’ll come visit soon.”

“You better. Because if you don’t, the next time we speak, I might not be as nice.” She grinned widely and gave him a wink. “Oh, and Reg?”

“Yes?”

“Your Slayer? _Seriously_?” She laughed gently. “Even Travers could see this coming. That’s why he fired you.”

“Well, I…”

“Be happy, love. Be in love, live in love, breathe in love.”

Giles smiled warmly and gave her a nod. “I will.”

“Goodbye, Reg.”

“Goodbye, Sophie.” He whispered, sighing as she simply disappeared.

* * * 

Giles opened his eyes and sighed heavily. He felt Buffy’s fingers lightly stroking through his hair and he reached out, sliding his hand to her thigh under the sheet covering them. 

“What time is it?” He asked quietly.

“A little after four.” She replied before continuing with a tone of uncertainty in her voice. “Was her name Sophie? Sophia?”

He turned to her quickly, surprise in his eyes. “Sophie.”

“You were talking in your sleep.” She offered with a nervous smile. “Soph is what you said. I figured it was short for one of those.”

“It wasn’t a…long lost lover type of dream. It was…she had a message for me.” He attempted to explain.

“Do I want to know?” 

Giles smiled and rolled onto his side facing her. “Be happy, be in love…and stop blaming myself for things that weren’t my fault.”

“Sounds like a smart lady to me.”

He nodded slowly and allowed her to watch the tears form in his eyes. “Reminds me of someone else I know.”

She leaned into him and gently brushed her lips across his. “We’ll fall down at times…and we’ll stand right back up and keep fighting. Because that’s who we are, Giles. I honestly can’t see a future without you in it…and I plan for that future to be a long one. But, I’m going to need you to help me…”

“I’ll give it all when I can…if I’m able.” He whispered, returning her kiss. “I want to tell you about her…about us.”

She smiled and snuggled against him, slipping her arm over him as she nuzzled his chest. “You will when you’re ready. And when you’re ready, I’ll listen. For now…let’s just sleep, just for a while longer.”

“I love you, Buffy.” He said softly, holding her securely against him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing that.” She murmured and then yawned. “I love you, Giles.”

He closed his eyes and listened to her breathing even out as she fell asleep. It wasn’t long before he followed her, snoring softly in a relaxed sleep.


	12. Breathe Out

Giles smiled proudly as he watched Buffy take on two vampires at once. Years ago, he would’ve admonished her for her use of punning during the fight…as well as for her seemingly innate inability to simply plunge and move on. He eventually acquiesced that argument, understanding that this was her style – and her style worked very well for her. 

Even if it did make him a bit nervous now and then.

He leaned against a headstone as one vampire exploded in a cloud of dust, enabling her to turn all of her attention towards the remaining one. He crossed his arms over his chest, watching intently…but also ready to jump in at any point, if needed. 

“And then I said…ashes to ashes, we all fall down…” She continued in her lengthy one-sided discussion with the vampire, grinning as she slammed the stake into his heart. “And then…they all fell down.”

Giles chuckled and pushed himself from the headstone. Buffy turned towards him and grinned brightly.

“How was that?”

“You know exactly what I’m going to say, so why even ask?”

She sauntered over to him and ran her hand down the front of his shirt. “Because I like hearing it…”

He rolled his eyes, smiling as she pulled her hand away. “Magnificent. As always, darling. You didn’t seem to dally as much as you normally do…are you feeling alright?”

“Dally…” She shook her head in amusement. “I’m feeling fine, Giles. There are just things I’d rather be doing right now. Can’t get to that until I get rid of them…”

“Fair enough.” He murmured, allowing her to take hold of his hand and lead him out of the cemetery. 

They had nearly gotten back to the car when a wiry vampire stepped out from the shadows. Buffy stopped, sighed heavily and let go of Giles’ hand.

“Goddammit, I just want to go home. What’s with you guys tonight?”

“Just out for a bit of fun, love.” He replied with a toothy grin. 

Giles took a step back and took a deep breath, watching closely as vampire circled them. “Buffy?”

Buffy followed the vampire, pulling the stake out of her jacket pocket. “Let’s go then. Have your fun…as short-lived as it’s gonna be. I have _much_ better things to be doing right now.”

The vampire snorted a laugh. “Like what?”

Buffy grinned and gestured towards Giles behind her with her thumb. “Him.”

Giles smiled softly, despite the seriousness of the situation. His smile faded as he noticed movement in the bushes behind Buffy.

In what seemed to be a split-second, three very distinct things happened simultaneously. Buffy suddenly lunged towards the vampire, slamming the stake into his heart as he stared at her in surprise. A second vampire came out of the bushes, raising a crossbow and aiming it at Buffy’s back. Giles screamed Buffy’s name and took off running towards her. 

Just as Buffy started to turn, the vampire pulled the trigger and Giles jumped…pushing Buffy to the ground. Giles groaned in pain as he landed hard next to her. She gave him a quick glance before settling her eyes on the vampire…who was busy trying to reload the crossbow. 

Buffy said nothing, simply stood and squared herself before throwing the stake. It struck with deadly accuracy, the crossbow dropping to the ground…a fine layer of ash falling on top of it. She closed her eyes briefly, concentrating on their surroundings. Sensing nothing further, she opened her eyes and dropped to her knees next to Giles.

“Giles? You okay?” She asked quickly, placing her hand on his back. She pulled back quickly when he hissed in pain. 

That’s when she looked down and noticed that there was blood on her hand. 

“Jesus Christ, Giles…what the fuck were you thinking?” She asked, concern in her tone.

“He would’ve killed you…” He muttered, groaning as he tried to push himself up. “Fucking hell, I don’t remember a crossbow bolt hurting this much.”

“You were wearing tweed last time.” Buffy replied absently, shaking her head. “Don’t move. I need to get you to the hospital, Giles.”

“Just…pull it out. It’s not that deep, it didn’t go in straight.”

“What if I paralyse you or something?” She asked.

He turned his head slowly and stared at her. “It’s below my shoulder blade…at an angle. It’s not going to fucking paralyse me.”

“Don’t get that tone with me, asshole. What the _fuck_ were you thinking?” She repeated, anger slipping into her voice. “You promised me you wouldn’t do anything stupid!”

“I would’ve done the same fucking thing if I was merely your Watcher, Buffy.” He growled. “I’ve done similar things in the past. It’s who I am. Don’t throw your anger towards me for – ”

“Goddammit, Giles! I can’t have you out here putting yourself – ”

He reached out and grabbed her jacket and stared into her eyes. “If I hadn’t jumped in when I did, the bolt would’ve hit you at heart level. He had the perfect angle on you...and there wouldn’t have been a damn thing you could’ve done to deflect it or dodge it. It would have been a devastating injury, Buffy. I will _not_ lose you out here. Not like that. You can be as angry as you want, but I will _not_ apologise for doing everything I can to keep you as safe as possible. You are _my_ Slayer, _my_ responsibility.” 

He took a shuddering breath and forced his eyes to soften as he lowered his voice. “You are also my lover, my life. I simply can’t lose you too.” 

“Don’t you get it? I can’t lose you either.”

“Well, luckily we both get what we want tonight, don’t we?” He offered her a small smile that barely hid his pain. “Now, can you please just pull the goddamn bolt out. Make sure you apply as much pressure as you can when you do.”

“This is not how I was expecting this night to go.” She muttered, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his handkerchief. “You’re going to need to lie back down…and get as comfortable as you can.”

“Yes, because comfort is easily acquired here.” He grumbled, but lowered himself to the ground.

“Shut up.” She whispered gruffly.

He turned his head to look at her. “Seriously, Buffy?”

“I love you, Giles. But, I am _so_ pissed off right now. So, please…just shut up so I can do this.”

“I seem to be making all sorts of promises that I can’t keep.” He mumbled and then lowered his head, resting his forehead on his arm.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked, gently prodding at the bolt with one hand and pressing the handkerchief near the wound with her other. “And you’re right, it didn’t go in that far. But, it’s going to bleed like a stuck pig when I pull it out.”

“There’s a mental image that I’m sure won’t leave anytime soon.” He sighed heavily. “And I made a promise years ago that while I’d remain loyal to my Slayer, I’d not sacrifice myself for her…because her duty is sacrifice. My duty is education and training. The moment I met you, I knew I’d never be able to keep that promise. And I haven’t. Not once. My duty isn’t merely education…it’s guidance and service. I would give my life for you, Buffy. No hesitation, no question. Because I love you, not because it’s my duty.”

When he heard her sniffle, he cleared his throat. “I also made a promise I’d never divulge that to you – because I wasn’t sure how you’d take it.”

“Asshole. Can’t even stay mad at you because you’re so fucking – ”

“I love you.” He whispered. “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I’m not sorry for doing what I felt was necessary.”

She paused for a moment and leaned down and placed a kiss on the back of his neck. “Count of three, okay?”

After he nodded, she sat up straight. “Deep breath…one, two – ” She pulled the bolt out of his back and pressed the cloth to the wound as tightly as she could. He muttered a short string of obscenities that brought a smile to her face, despite the situation. “Sorry, babe.”

“Babe…” He chuckled, then immediately groaned. “Think you’re up to suturing?”

“Yeah, but we’ll need to get home. I can’t do it out here.”

“There are some towels in the boot. Put a couple behind my back, I should be able to keep pressure on it until we get home.”

She glanced at the car and nodded. “Okay, you good to walk to the car?”

“And the other option would be?”

“Don’t get snitty. I’ll fucking carry you if I have to.”

He allowed her to help him up and didn’t complain when she kept hold of him to steady him. He leaned against her and smiled weakly.

“I do love you so, Buffy.”

She rolled her eyes and pressed her hand harder against his back. “I love you too. You’re still an asshole, but I love you.”

“I can live with that.”

She laughed softly and led him to the car.

* * * 

She had managed to get him home without much hassle. Getting him out of his shirt proved to be much more of a hassle. He sighed sadly as she grabbed a pair of scissors and cut through the fabric. 

“Bloody hell…”

“Sorry. I’ll see if I can find a new one. Do you remember where you got this one?” She asked, pulling the ruined shirt from him and dropping it onto the floor.

“At a shop…somewhere.” He replied.

She snorted a laugh. “Helpful…”

“How does it look?” He asked, closing his eyes as she gently pulled the towel away.

“Holey.”

He shook his head in slight amusement. “Helpful…”

“It’s not gushing blood at least. But, yeah…it’s going to need to be stitched up.”

“Figured as much. Should find everything you need in the first aid kit under the sink in the bathroom.” He glanced towards the liquor cabinet. “You wouldn’t consider pouring me a drink before you go, would you?”

“I could think of better ideas. Of course, I could think of worse ones too.” She said, making her way over and grabbing a tumbler and the bottle of scotch. She quickly poured a drink and smiled as she handed it to him. “ _One_ , okay?”

“Yes, dear.” He sighed, lifting the tumbler to his lips as she took off down the hall.

He sipped the drink slowly, wincing at the sharp ache in his back. She was back soon enough, first aid kit in one hand and a pill bottle in the other. He arched an eyebrow at her.

“I’m not used to only having two bottles of painkillers to choose from in your medicine cabinet.” She said with a soft smile.

“Yes, well…I tend not to have as many concussions or trips to the hospital here as I did in Sunnydale.”

“That’s a good thing.” She shook two tablets out and handed them to him. “You should probably take these with water, not scotch…”

He gave a sigh of exasperation and then popped the pills into his mouth, chasing them down with the rest of his drink. “Alcohol’s already in my system, it’s not like it’s going to cause any huge issues. Besides, it’s _one_ drink.”

She stared at him for a moment and then sighed, sitting down on the coffee table. “I just worry about mixing medication with alcohol, that’s all. I’m not insinuating _anything_ , Giles.”

He nodded slowly, shifting carefully and laying down on his stomach across the sofa. “Let me know if you need me to move or anything.”

She got to work, cleaning the wound before gathering the tools she’d need for stitching it up. He remained quiet for a while. He was so quiet that Buffy thought that the painkillers she had given him had knocked him out.

Until he turned his head towards her and looked up at her.

“I was going to marry her.” He said softly.

“Sophie?” She asked just as softly.

He nodded as she silently opened a package of suturing thread. “We were three months out from the date when she died.”

Buffy wasn’t quite sure how to respond, so she reached over and gently ran her fingers through his hair. 

“It’s hard to imagine now. That I should have come to Sunnydale with a wife…possibly a child or two as well.”

“Did you want children?” She asked, pausing in her task.

“We had discussed it. So many people were surprised we hadn’t had children already. We’d been together for seven years.” He lowered his gaze from hers and exhaled shakily. 

She cleared her throat. “Do you…do you want children?”

“To be honest, I haven’t given it much thought since. I assumed I wouldn’t. I…didn’t expect that I’d…”

“Didn’t expect what?” She asked as he trailed off.

“I truly didn’t expect to be here twelve years later. And I certainly didn’t expect to be in love with anyone…not the way I loved her.”

When he raised his eyes back to hers, she smiled and gently stroked his cheek. “Maybe we should talk about this tomorrow?”

He hesitated for a moment and then sighed. “I’m sorry, I…”

“Only because you’re stoned, Giles. This isn’t a conversation we should be having while you’re in this state, okay? You know as well as I do…you have trouble with control when you’ve taken painkillers. I don’t want you to say more than you’re comfortable discussing at the moment. That’s all. If you want to talk about this tomorrow, we most definitely will.”

He nodded slowly. “You…are an amazing woman, Buffy Summers.”

She smiled as he closed his eyes as the drugs took full effect. “You’re pretty amazing yourself, Rupert Giles.”

He slept soundly as she sutured and bandaged his wound. After she was done, she covered him with a blanket and then stretched out on the smaller of the two sofas. She watched him sleep until she fell asleep herself.

* * *

She woke in the morning to find him sitting on the sofa…a mug of tea in his hand as he stared out the window. She sat up slowly, stretching and wincing as her shoulder cracked. 

He turned his head towards her and smiled, glancing at the lamp table. “Tea for you, love. I was going to wake you in a couple of minutes.”

“Mm, thank you.” She murmured, picking up the mug and moving over to sit next to him. “How are you feeling?”

“A bit sore, I won’t lie. Crossbow bolts aren’t exactly the most pleasant of things to be shot with.” He smiled, sliding his left hand to her thigh as he sipped his tea. “All in all, though…I’m well.”

“You scared me last night, you know.”

He nodded slowly. “I know. I also know I’d do it again…without a doubt.”

“Have you been up long?” She asked, covering his hand with hers.

“A while.” He admitted, resting his mug on his knee. “I’ve been thinking.”

“About?” Her thumb rubbed softly over his skin.

“I need to go to London. Not for long, but…I think I need to go.” He said softly.

“Is this about Sophie?” She asked, continuing to stroke his skin.

He nodded silently, unsure of what to say…how she would react.

“Okay. Is there anything I can do?”

He turned towards her and gazed into her eyes. Seeing only love and understanding, he nodded again.

“Will you come with me?” He asked quietly. “I haven’t been…well, I haven’t visited her in far too long. All of this gets heavier and harder the longer it goes…”

“If you’re absolutely sure, of course I will. You don’t need to do any of this on your own.”

He turned his hand under hers, lacing their fingers together. “I’d like to tell you about her. Now, I mean. I’m ready now…”

Buffy gently squeezed his fingers before untangling hers from his. She carefully lifted his hand and ducked under his arm, snuggling against him. His fingers lightly stroked her upper arm as he turned his head and dropped a soft kiss onto her head. 

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. 

This was a huge step for him. Monumental, even…and they both knew that this was going to be a huge turning point in their relationship. At one time, he never thought he’d find himself in this particular situation…yet, here he was. 

Feeling his apprehension, she snuggled closer and rested her hand on his thigh in a comforting manner. He hugged her against him, closing his eyes for a moment.

And then he opened his eyes and smiled.

“She called me Reg. Never Rupert…always Reg.” 

**~ End**


End file.
